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Beginning to realize just how alone I really am...

L

Lugia

Active Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2010
Messages
966
I'm never going to be happy.

If I stay the way I am, a so-called "individual", I will be a miserable loner who shares nothing in common with anyone and therefore can't relate to other people and will be forever ignored.

Even though at school I had friends, I never get invited to anything (never been to a party or get together in my life) and I feel very stupid around people.

If I change I will be miserable because I'm forced to not be myself. Then I will have friends but they will treat me like dirt.

A girl in 6 grade showed me how to be "normal" so I would have friends... I was very popular but constraining myself was a very epic struggle.

What should I do? Stay a loner as who I am or change for the better?
 
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I could say that i am also a little loner cause i usually spend more time being alone. I do enjoy doing things alone but i do have friends and there are times that we have bonding moments. As you said you at least have some friends so you are not totally a loner. It is better to be who you are and be able to find real friends accepting you as you are. Maybe you just need to be more sociable which i think will not fully alter of what you think who you really are. Maybe you could discover the other self in you.
 
Hang in there! It will get better every time you move up a school, especially in university. :) You don't have to change but try doing different things to see where it would take you. Maybe you'll discover you have more in common with your friends than you thought you did or learn something new about yourself. But always stay true to yourself. There's no use in being fake or half-hearted. It's better to attract one true friend than a gaggle of sheeple.
 
Giygas said:
What should I do? Stay a loner as who I am or change for the better?
Click to expand...

Dunno what the correct choice should be. I am similar in situation, I am feeling so alone. People have known me to be so strong, my friends and family and they know I will not easily break down.. :( And now that I am going through a difficult phase in my life I am not sure what to do. :p *sigh*

I wish that there is a ctrl alt delete button in life :)
 
You should never sacrifice yourself for other people or for what you think they want or expect you to be. In the end, all you have is you, long after all those other people are gone you'll only have yourself to face and deal with.
 
I absolutely agree with what has been said above. Never lose yourself trying to be someone that you are not. There are people out there who share common interests with you and would love to be your friend. You just have to put yourself out there. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do on your spare time?
 
You can't change yourself and you don't want it. You will grow mentally and everything will become better. Trust me.
And it takes time to find good friends but better no friends than someone who doesn't like you the way yo really are.
 
Wow, it looks like you are in the same situation I was in just a few years ago! I will tell you what I did... I stayed true to myself. It has paid off in copious amounts, as I have never been happier in my life than I am now. I do what I want, wear what I want and act however I want, I feel so free and able to be myself, that even if I don't always get invited to all the "cool" parties, I don't mind just being me.

When it comes down to it, if you aren't happy with yourself, you will never be happy. It is so hard to be someone else, when no one can be *you* like you can. So just be yourself, and the honest people will come.
 
I would call myself a loner too. All I really do is stay to myself. I don't think you should change yourself in order to have friends, because deep inside you still will be unhappy. You should just try to find people that have the same interest as you.
 
Well, now that I have a nice boyfriend and stuff I don't feel as bad anymore. I appreciate all of your words ^ ^
 
(((Big Hugs))) Everyone goes through a stage they feel they do not really belong. Do not change your inner self, stay true to that. Find a club that you are interested in and join it. You will find true friends that accept you for you.
 
I know how you feel. I have been there. Even though you have a boyfriend right now, that could change and you may feel this bad about put yourself. But honestly, it sounds like you really are a grounded person, you sound like you know who you truly are. Be you! All these others probably don't know who they are so they put on a big front just to fit in.
 
I say you should always be yourself, no matter what. I tried fitting the mold to fit in with the popular people, it just made me miserable & depressed. I went through high school in a daze because of it, thankfully I could do the work in my sleep (& did on occasion). Anyway, come college, I decided that I was gonna be me & no one was gonna stop me. I found my very best friend there & even though we have both been out of college for nearly 7 years now, we still talk on a twice weekly basis, email daily, & FB chat 4-5 days a week. Plus, my husband now totally understands how it is & supports me being myself. I am glad his mom did that for him when he was a teen so he knows what its like & doesn't ever say, "Why can't you be more like so-and-so?" to either me or our teenager.
 
Interpersonal skills is important specially if you will be working in a corporate world. When I graduated college, I was so shy and a loner. At my first job, I then realized that I need to communicate well and build a good relationship to get promoted.

Get out of your shell and have fun.
 
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I agree with all that has been said here. The best thing you can do is be yourself because it will only feel uncomfortable and awkward if you pretend to be somebody different. You just need a little more confidence and thought that you are you and you are beautiful. It's not only seen from the outside, you must also feel beautiful inside of you and definitely it will show. :)
 
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