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Tolerance

I think my life... sometimes shows that I have a tolerence level of my own that cant be surpassed.

...When people you think are your friends.... tell you nothing but lies... and then by accident you discover them, and spend all your day consoling some poor guy who had his heart broke...... All while you discover that your life to someone who you thought was a very good friend (despite things happening in the past) turns out to be a complete fraud.

Im bloody hurt, and all I can do is try and cheer up this poor guy whos falling apart.....
 
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Subby @ Mar 16 2007, 03:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
yeah I know, I have had my share of weird stalkers...
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Oops... *caught*
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Subby, you say "Im bloody hurt, and all I can do is try and cheer up this poor guy whos falling apart....." .... you're allowed to fall apart also, but what you should do, is let those around you help to heal the pain. You're not alone now, and therefore (puts stern voice on) stop shutting people out!

You, like myself, don't like to talk about your feelings... but maybe it would help to release the emotions instead of bottling them up inside. You are allowed to hurt.
 
Snowy,I don't think i need to let anything out... Its quite obvious how betrayed and upset I'm feeling. I am far too trusting, always have been... always will be... So when I have it shoved in my face that my trust was abused.. and never actually warranted... it hurts.
 
Yeah, that's what happens to everyone..though I don't know what exactly happened, by the looks of it, I have been in similar situations...but you also have to remember that things like that happen all the time, if this is the first time you've been disappointed by a friend, I say - lucky you.
Besides, who knows? Maybe you've disappointed someone in the past as well? Ok, you probably didn't do something that bad, but you know what I meant...

Anyway..
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lol I doubt its quite as similar as you think... but the feelings and emotions probably are.

Anyhow... I think the issue has been put to rest... for the time being....
 
Anyhow...i think its time for some deep emotional truth from Subby....

Now I have a lot of trouble opening up to people.... Thistle knows this, I dont tend to do it until I see how its effecting her.... I also have trouble admitting how much i care for people, because I do fear being hurt... or cast aside by those I care about. Some people I put above this fear... Like Snowy, who was a friend to me when I was probably at the lowest point of my life... She possibly can't see me at any worse point... and she stuck by me. Lottie, the same, has a lot of trust of mine.. and I tell her things that I would normally keep to myself. Thistle, of course I would tell most of everything too, but I still hold back a little.. because of this fear that the serious part of me will be rejected.

This is one of the main reasons i also flirt too much. i don't mean anything by it, I certainly am not romantically interested in anyone else other then thistle at the moment... The reason I do it is plainly that I feel if I flirt, and joke around with the person.. I will put a smile on there face... without me needing to go out on a limb and form a closer friendship with them. Some people I flirt with might take that as a slap in the face, but you will know whether I can talk to you or not.

Anyhow... so there it is... Thistle shouldn't worry, because there is no hideous truth behind it all.. Just a guy wanting to touch others in a positive way.. without risking his own feelings by losing frienships...
 
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Oh My Goodness subby, I swear we are the same person!!
Thing with me is, I don't flirt so much, as be a total smartass. I am constantly joking, so I can keep people at a safe distance.
Then, last night, when I was really needing to talk to a friend, I realized that I have only 2. One was at work, and the other I don't have her cell phone number. So apparently, I have done a pretty good job at keeping people at a distance.
I don't know you guys very well, but it sounds to me that you are very lucky to have these ladies as support! And I can say for sure that it is HUGE that you can SEE that when you hold things inside it hurts thistle, and you open up. I am not able to do that yet.
Like last night, I had so wanted to tell my boyfriend some seriously real things about myself, but when the time came to do it, I chickened out and ended up not really saying anything and probably sounding stupid. But I guess I would rather sound stupid than vulnerable.
And that IS stupid...
 
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