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My Mom and brother talk about me behind my back
- Thread starter saraerose
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I heard the word 'selfish' mentioned by mom, brother and grandma a lot. And, to me that says you used to be very much a doormat, doing everything for everyone else (except yourself) and they got used to the freebies you were offering and got used to be coddled and helped out. And, maybe they took you for granted. And, now that you are grown up and doing your own thing, you are seen as selfish cause you won't let others walk over you and you won't run errands like before.
Maybe your mom thinks that's selfish cause it means more burden on her. Look at it from her point of view. If you're not at the house a lot, then that means you don't do your fair share of housework, so more work for mom. Of course, she is going to think ill of that. But, she should not call you selfish, cause you have your own life.
Maybe you had more time before to hang out with your brother when both of you were younger, but with school work and job, you aren't able to do so anymore.
You need to sit down with everyone and explain what's going on and how you wish you could be there more but have new responsibilities that take up your time. Explain that you're not going to be able to run around doing errands for everything like you did before. Tell them the mean words hurt. Try to find a fix for this situation before it festers and splits up the family. There is more than one side to this situation. If people are saying you are selfish, then pin them down on the subject and make them explain HOW you are selfish, then either dismiss it or work toward a solution.
Maybe your mom thinks that's selfish cause it means more burden on her. Look at it from her point of view. If you're not at the house a lot, then that means you don't do your fair share of housework, so more work for mom. Of course, she is going to think ill of that. But, she should not call you selfish, cause you have your own life.
Maybe you had more time before to hang out with your brother when both of you were younger, but with school work and job, you aren't able to do so anymore.
You need to sit down with everyone and explain what's going on and how you wish you could be there more but have new responsibilities that take up your time. Explain that you're not going to be able to run around doing errands for everything like you did before. Tell them the mean words hurt. Try to find a fix for this situation before it festers and splits up the family. There is more than one side to this situation. If people are saying you are selfish, then pin them down on the subject and make them explain HOW you are selfish, then either dismiss it or work toward a solution.
bethanyparkin
Member
It's like that in my house, it's just family banter/bonding tbh. Tell them you're unhappy with it, and they'll stop and home life will be right as rain 
It's like that in my house, it's just family banter/bonding tbh. Tell them you're unhappy with it, and they'll stop and home life will be right as rain
Hopefully, that will be enough to correct the situation. Her mom and brother need to know they are being rude. She's a family member. If they really have a problem with her, then they need to sit her down and talk it out, not talk behind her back.
Hopefully, this issue will be resolved so no long term feelings of animosity set in.
Cecille
Active Member
Ahh I sympathize with you dear. I've criticized like that as well.
But just do what you are doing right now, work hard in your studies and try to communicate well with your mom. Maybe a heart-to-heart talk will do good to both of you.
But just do what you are doing right now, work hard in your studies and try to communicate well with your mom. Maybe a heart-to-heart talk will do good to both of you.
My mother talks about me behind my back too. Matter of fact she talks about all of her kids like that. She will go to one of us and talk about the other. I think it's very sad when you can't even go to your own mother for personal advice because you know she is going to tell people. I have to remind my self that it really doesn't matter what my mother says, because at the end of the day I am only living for one person and that is GOD.
anndead
Member
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2011
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- 39
I've had the same thing, only my brother and sister talk about me behind my back to both my parents.
Also, my mum talks about me with her work friends, then when she and I fight she tells me all the nasty things her and her friends think of me.
Just ignore it, I did....You get to a point where you just dont really give a damn anymore.
Also, my mum talks about me with her work friends, then when she and I fight she tells me all the nasty things her and her friends think of me.
Just ignore it, I did....You get to a point where you just dont really give a damn anymore.
claudine
Member
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2012
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- 502
My mother and my sister talk about me behind my back all the time and they usually repeat nasty things. It really hurts. And sometimes I hear them laughing at me. This is one of the reasons why I barely talk to them. If they don't know anything about my life, they can't laugh at it.
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Jesserotica
Member
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2012
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- 160
Wow, your family sucks. If it were me, I'd work hard, save up money and move far, far away as soon as I could. Hell, I did that and my family isn't even mean like that.