Do you stay friends or not?

[dconklin]

I think many people with ex's and children involved often despise each other (tho some tolerate each other for the best of the children.)
For me it depends on how the relationship ends. I can usually get along with them afterwards but if they did something horrible, I will never trust them. If we just didn't go well as a couple, it would be easy to stay friends.

 

[kat744]

I believe in letting go, if it was yours in the first place, it will find its ways back to you. I do let go but forgetting takes time. Its different with every relationship because the reason of separating are not the same. We may remain friends or decide to stay out of each other way.

 

[Coffeeaddict]

I can be civil to the ex but when it's over, it's over. I don't stay friends with them. It's a form of courtesy as well in a way for my current partner.

 

[Cecille]

Most of my exes gone really bad after we broke up so I haven't really made friends with them until now. I have been friends with the two of them though, 'cause so far I haven't had any issues with them.

I want to be friends with the rest of them though. I just don't know where to start.

 

[daisiesndots]

No, I do not try to stay friends. I feel that remaining friends with an ex only leaves that door cracked with the ability to open it later. And the door usually will open for both persons but it is usually at the wrong time, when the other person is happy. I also feel that this can create tension in a new relationship, your new partner may feel threatened by this friendship. Your new partner may trust you but it is still always a bit unsettling.

 

[mscuban]

If it started out as friends in the first place, yes I can. If I just flat out meet someone I end up with then the answer would be no.

 

[claudine]

I always repeat that the past should stay in the past. I couldn't be friends with an ex. I don't see any point in trying to. I have only one ex and although I don't hate him, I definitely don't want to have anything to do with him. Breakups always happen for a reason. In my opinion it's better to go forward without looking back.

 

[chelly]

No I have never tried to remain friends with an ex if it ended badly. I was in an abusive relationship that I left to get away from, so I completely cut ties with him, although He wanted to remain friends. My thoughts were if you can't be my friend in the relationship, why would I want you as a friend afterwards! That defeats the purpose of true friendship. I never entered another relationship for 2 years because I don't just want a husband, but I want a true friend in our marriage. I have a great platonic guy friend, because we were always friends and he has always been a true friend. I am in the middle of a breakup with a cheater who I feel I could be friends with because he was good to me until I discovered the cheating. The difference is I don't want to remain friends with him because of the betrayal and loss of trust.

 

[jenniferb7890]

I'm actually trying, currently. And, quite honestly, it's not working out so well. I dated my most recent exboyfriend for about a year. When I broke up with him he wanted to stay friends. Fine with me. So we did, and everything was cool. He took the break up like a champ and never said anything about it.

Then, about four months after our break up, I met my current boyfriend (who I am absolutely in love with). That's when things started to go south. At first, I had to convince current boyfriend that ex was just a friend. It took a couple months, but he finally grew to be okay with it. Then, ex saw that things were getting serious and started acting up in front of current boyfriend. My ex would grab my arm or follow me around or say he needed to talk and try to pull me off somewhere. Tensions grew. A LOT. To the point where they almost fought. I told ex he could either knock it off or we couldn't be friends. He did, but he still leaves current boyfriend on edge.

My ex and I have always gotten along, and he is a great friend. It would have been difficult to cut all ties with him when I broke up with him, but I really do think that would have been the best course of action. Now no one's happy and I'm stuck in the middle.

 

[angelle]

Definitely not. There is no way that I can continue being friends with an ex. I think that it would be harder to move on with your ex still in the picture. Also, I agree with what you have stated, once something is over then it needs to be over. I do not deal with the back and forth thing because if you couldn't make it work the first time, then it isn't going to work the second and third time...just my opinion.