Do You Mean It When You Say No?

[Dreek Lass]

If someone I am not close to asks me "Can you take me to the store?" and I say "No, I"m sorry," and that person says "Why not?" it's a problem and I don't care if they were being condescending or not. However, if someone I am close to says "Will you go with me to Sally's Party?" and I say no, I would probably tell the person I have something else to do or that I have a personal reason for not wanting to go.

Some people are thoughtless and some are not, I just don't feel I have to give a reason when I say no. Does that make sense?

There was really little need for you to clarify this; I got your point in your first response. But I was simply pointing out the many angles in which you could look at it, because of the many different ways that someone may approach you with asking why not. That is simply all. If someone you don't know catches you in this situation, they may be desperate or whatever, hence the whiney 'Why Not?'

It does not mean that they were trying to be condescending or that they were trying to irritate you. They were perhaps just desperate, or really wanted that favor, so they pushed the boundaries a little. Then other times people are just being annoying and or unreasonable. Some people are thoughtless, and then there are the millions of other things that it may be other than thoughtlessness. It is up to us to discern the difference.

 

[ChanellG]

It does not mean that they were trying to be condescending or that they were trying to irritate you. They were perhaps just desperate, or really wanted that favor, so they pushed the boundaries a little. Then other times people are just being annoying and or unreasonable. Some people are thoughtless, and then there are the millions of other things that it may be other than thoughtlessness. It is up to us to discern the difference.

I have never had someone in desperate circumstances ask for something that I said no to and have them whine "why not?" Children whine, and it's difficult enough to be patient with them when they do, but adults? I just walk away. And you're right about those millions of other things, some include selfish, immature, entitled... whatever it is, it's their problem which is why we can feel good (meaning guilt-free) about saying no.

 

[Dreek Lass]

I have never had someone in desperate circumstances ask for something that I said no to and have them whine "why not?" Children whine, and it's difficult enough to be patient with them when they do, but adults? I just walk away. And you're right about those millions of other things, some include selfish, immature, entitled... whatever it is, it's their problem which is why we can feel good (meaning guilt-free) about saying no.

No, not only children whine. Everybody whines. Not just children. I feel like you are being a little closed minded? Just because someone is a certain age - classified as an adult - that means very little. Some of the most backwards and immature - by my standards - people that I have ever met have all been elders that I was supposed to respect, by society's standards. Absolute BS. Age is nothing but a number.

If someone is desperate or passionate, that will be expressed in their voice a lot of the time and sound whiney, and they are not actually trying to whine, if that makes any sense. But that is how it comes out.

My point was that if someone asks why not, it is not always negative and you don't have to feel patronized or anything if you do not want to. Sometimes things, in truth, are not the way that we perceive them. And sometimes they are and people are trying to be condescending. But it is up to us to know the difference and be discerning enough to help those that warrant the help, and walk away from those that are all those negative things that you listed above.

 

[ChanellG]

My point was that if someone asks why not, it is not always negative and you don't have to feel patronized or anything if you do not want to. Sometimes things, in truth, are not the way that we perceive them. And sometimes they are and people are trying to be condescending. But it is up to us to know the difference and be discerning enough to help those that warrant the help, and walk away from those that are all those negative things that you listed above.

Somehow you seem to have the impression that I disagree with you. We are all here to express our thoughts and feelings and opinions. An adult is someone of a certain age, no longer legally classified as a child, who has reached a certain level of maturity. Whining is not mature behavior.