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Can you really fix an unhappy marriage?

Well, if that happens to me, I would definitely have a one-on-one talk with my partner. And if I am the one hanging on to it and he is the one who want to get rid of it, I would ask him if it is what he really want and if it is his final decision. As soon as he decided to let go of our relationship, then I might as well move on and try to find happiness on my own. And yes, successful relationships requires give-and-take. So if one of them is not willing to hold on anymore, might as well let it go and move on.
 
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Cecil Estrera said:
Well, if that happens to me, I would definitely have a one-on-one talk with my partner. And if I am the one hanging on to it and he is the one who want to get rid of it, I would ask him if it is what he really want and if it is his final decision. As soon as he decided to let go of our relationship, then I might as well move on and try to find happiness on my own. And yes, successful relationships requires give-and-take. So if one of them is not willing to hold on anymore, might as well let it go and move on.
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I like your point of view with regard this issue. It's really great, it's always the best act to talk with each other and discuss this very grave issue, it's just that what if breaking up with you is his final decision?, I believe it won't be very easy to accept, questions will occur in your mind, bitterness and everything, you'll start to argue with him,"it's your decision but how about my decision not to let go", those are just scenarios that's really heartbreaking. Moving on is easy if you'll learn to accept the situation but what if you can haven't reach the acceptance stage yet, what can you do, how would you possibly move on?
 
If you are saying that your marriage is just boring, then yes that can be fixed. There are way more bigger issues like addiction and cheating that could be going on and sounds like that is not the case. Sounds like you both just need to rekindle your marriage. Take a trip, start spending more time talking, or possibly seeking therapy before it gets any worse. I've been married for 18 years, and it is tough it takes so much work. There were times I wanted to give up. Hang in there and keep working!
 
I think both should exert effort in saving their marriage and talk for ways they could do for it. If nothing is really wrong in their relationship and it was just boredom, they could have a vacation together in a place they both love or memorable to them. Maybe they could try the things that could make them happy before just like dating. It will be almost impossible to save the relationship if only one person is hanging on.
 
francrislee25 said:
I like your point of view with regard this issue. It's really great, it's always the best act to talk with each other and discuss this very grave issue, it's just that what if breaking up with you is his final decision?, I believe it won't be very easy to accept, questions will occur in your mind, bitterness and everything, you'll start to argue with him,"it's your decision but how about my decision not to let go", those are just scenarios that's really heartbreaking. Moving on is easy if you'll learn to accept the situation but what if you can haven't reach the acceptance stage yet, what can you do, how would you possibly move on?
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At first, it would be really hard as the hurt and other emotions will prevail. But life is beautiful and it doesn't end with divorce or separation. So we might as well think positive, divert our attention to more significant things in our lives and have faith in God. He is the best solution to everything.
 
I always think that a marriage could be put back together. It definitely wouldn't be easy but with hard work from both parties, then I believe that it can be done. When you get married, you make a lifelong commitment to that other person, a commitment that should be kept. To me, giving up just seems like the easy way out, even if it does bring heartbreak.
 
I wouldn't give up just yet. I would try and talk with the partner and figure out what he/she really wants. If it is out, then that letting go of the marriage may be the best thing to do. But if the other person is unsure of what he/she wants, then maybe there is hope. Try counseling. Maybe go on a marriage retreat or a vacation. But I would also put a limit on how long you will try to make it work. Life is short and being happy is so important. If that means closing one door and opening another door, then the sooner you find this out the better.
 
I want to say yes, and that the person who is still interested in the marriage should give it everything they've got.

That being said though, you'd be facing an uphill battle if the other person no longer wants to be married. Unfortunately I know this from first hand experience. My first husband and I got married at 18, and over time he started to hate being married and feel like he missed out on the fun of being a single guy. I tried everything I could to save my marriage, but in the end it didn't matter since I was the only one who wanted to make it work.
 
I definitely believe that if the issue is merely boredom the relationship can definitely be saved. I think it's so easy for people to get stuck in a rut, and not just when they are in a relationship. We often settle in a job we don't necessarily love, living in a house that isn't exactly our dream home, doing things more out of habit than out of passion. It's natural for this mundane mentality could turn up in a relationship. I think it's important for both parties to acknowledge that there is a problem. Like many of the ladies said before me, one party might not even recognize the issue. Trying new activities together is a good start, but so is Communication. It's so easy to live with a person for so many years and simply take each other for granted, you may stop talking to each other about more than what's necessary. I would ask the couple in question, how often do you sit down and talk just for the sake of getting to know each other? Even after almost 2 decades of marriage you can learn new things about your partner's personalities and desires.
 
Well that depends actually on both of you. I mean do you want it to be fixed? If you both want the same thing then yes it can be fixed, but sometimes you can rest assure that everything can be fixed. This really depends on you and your other basically. I hope that everything works out for them and stuff like that though, because some marriages cannot be fixed and that is because the two people in them get tired or they never want to make it work at all so they never try. I hope that everything works out for the relationship.
 
speedy said:
I would suggest that you both go to the marriage counselor. Try to do new things that you both like and have fun doing it. It is really sad if the relationship will end because of boredom. If your parents are nearby try to leave them the children even just for 1 day and go out with your partner and have some fun. If you are the one trying to make it, ask your husband if want kind of things that he misses to do and go along with it though you don't feel like to do it. Sometimes, we need to do sacrifices just to make our relationship work and will be lasting.
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Some very good advice. My partner and i have been together for a very long while but it hasn't been the same since our daughter was born. He just doesn't feel the passionate spark for our relationship. :(
 
Well, you can't do it alone, and it gets pretty exhausting trying to haul someone else's weight around if they refuse to help out. However, boredom is pretty normal at various points in a marriage, because you get past that everything is new and exciting part, and contentment seems so unromantic! :) You could embark on new adventures or projects together, but again, that requires some mutual cooperation.
 
I'm not yet married,but I believe in marriage. :) I think all relationships especially married couples experience getting bored sometimes, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love each other anymore. They should find out why they seem not to be happy with each other anymore and do something about it. Time to refresh fun, excitement and love.
 
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If both parties are not ready or willing to make the sacrifice, then there is no way that relationship will work. The problem with one sided relationship is that one parties always gets hurt in the end because each want different things. I say they should just let go and try other people and if they were meant to be together, fate or good luck will bring them together again.
 
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