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What age do you think is ok for a boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Teens Section' started by dconklin, Jun 17, 2013.

  1. dconklin

    dconklin Member

    My oldest is still in the boys can be friends but don't hug me stage, which is ok with me. But I have been seeing 12 and 13 year olds with boyfriends/girlfriends and I am not sure that I would comfortable with my kids having an actual boyfriend at that age! I mean they have boys that are friends, but not somebody they call a boyfriend yet.

    Just curious to see what everybody thinks is an ok age. I am one of the worrying type of parents that is really hoping that they will wait until they are at least 15 or 16 (18 is even better but not expected) :)
     
  2. claudine

    claudine Member

    If I had a 13 year old daughter, I'd definitely let her have a boyfriend. I strongly believe that love makes us better people and being in a relationship is a good lesson of life. Young, teenage couples are very cute and innocent. If they're raised well, all they do is holding hands, that's it. Forbidding children from dating only makes things worse because they won't listen, instead, they'll start lying.
     
  3. katews

    katews Member

    I've known people who allow the very young teens to have boyfriends/girlfriends, too, but most of my friends now are realizing that it's not such a great idea and putting some rules in place. Word seems to be getting out that you can't both whine and complain about babies having babies and then send your 12 year old out on a "date" and not connect the two issues.

    I'm not having to deal with it with my daughter yet, but the norm seems to be 15 if it's with a group where other people will also be, and 16 if a "real" date.
     
  4. dconklin

    dconklin Member

    I can understand from this point, but I am just uneasy with it since kids now seem to not be quite so innocent anymore. I know that if we talk to our kids we shouldn't have to worry, but then there is peer pressure or there may be pressure from the boyfriend. Young girls may go along with it since they want their friends' approval, even tho they may not realize that their friends are not good friends if they try to talk them into things.

    We don't have it as much here in our school, but many places have a higher rate of teenage pregnancies and some are actually pregnant at the age of 12 now. When I was growing up that just didn't happen, but now it is happening more and more all over!
     
  5. claudine

    claudine Member

    If I had a child, I would talk to him about contraception, I feel that it's very, very important because no matter how hard you try, a teenager will find a way to do as he pleases. And when he trust his parents, at least they will know what is going on in his life. In my family, sex has aways been a taboo. My parents have always talked about it like it was a horrible, indecent mystery. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to have sex only because I was angry at them and so curious. I know that it's stupid, but teenagers often are like this.
     
  6. kiwigirl

    kiwigirl Member

    I think 15 is a reasonable age, where a girl is confident to know what she is and isn't comfortable doing with a boyfriend. I know a lot of people are fine with 12 year olds dating but I think 12 year old girls should be enjoying their childhood not getting too involved in a relationship.
     
  7. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    I think having a casual boyfriend is okay at 13. Basically, they see each other at school, talk or text on the phone, maybe he comes over once in a while. I wouldn't let my daughters actually "date" at that age though or go out alone with a boy. Going to a group outing or school dance or something would probably be okay with me. Real dates, I think around 15-16 is good, if they are both mature and responsible.
     
  8. CuteyKitten

    CuteyKitten New Member

    Well, I didn't have my first boyfriend till I was 15 literally. It was my 15th birthday when I met that jerk. But anyways, I think that a sutibale age to start would be 15 or 16. However, I also think that maturity must be taken into consideration. If you have a very mature child I say go for it. If not or if your not sure, You could also do what my parents did and come on every single date. Just don't hover over them for example going to the movies sit two rows above them. Going out to eat sit at a table close to them. This way they can feel like they are indepentent and the parents don't freak out.
     
  9. danielledavidson

    danielledavidson New Member

    I think that towards the end of middle school would be a good time for them. That was around the time that I had my first boyfriend. I'm sure that it would be an okay age because they are starting to mature more. And I mean at that age it's not like they have to be alone together. They can just hang out with friends or in the living room with each other. My younger had a boyfriend when she was in 6th grade I believe and I just remember thinking what would you do with each other? Like that seems young to want to hang out and watch movies and just talk.
     
  10. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    My friends had boyfriends when they were 12 and 13; I don't think it was anything bad, and I don't think that if their parents had "forbidden" it, it would have had positive effects.

    Though I do know of some kids who got pregnant this early... So it basically depends on how the kids were raised and if they know enough. I think real relationships take maturity, but young schoolyard love are sweet things if the kids are not too curious about "doing it like grownups just to see what all the fuss is about".
     
  11. SassyPrincess

    SassyPrincess Member

    I think having a boyfriend at around the age of 15-16 is just fine :).
     
  12. leahlav812

    leahlav812 New Member

    When I have kids I am going to try & enforce at least 14 years old. I think middle school is too young for kids to be dating, they are not old enough to be making some of the decisions that come with the relationship. High school is a little better but not much, however I do have to be somewhat realistic. I am not part of the norm that is set today, but I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 19. Hahaha and by the time I have kids that old I am sure everything will be different. Good luck!! :)
     
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