MEDITATION helped a Warrnambool father live with postnatal depression twice.
Jim has experienced the tears, the frustrations and the anger associated with depression.
His wife Alice sank to the depths of despair after the births of both their daughters. And he, too, experienced some similar feelings after the first birth eight years ago.
"We were going to have a drug-free birth," Jim said.
"We had this romantic idea about how it was going to be. Nothing could be further from the truth."
A 30-hour labour ended in a breach birth.
"They had to call in a specialist. The baby had the chord wrapped around her neck.
"I remember at one stage, halfway through the labour, the midwife came up to me and said: `I think we need to use some drugs here'. I rolled up my sleeve and said `I thought you'd never ask'," Jim laughed.
Unaware that help existed for couples needing support after a traumatic birth, Jim and Alice fended for themselves for months.
"They talk about postnatal depression for guys," Jim said.
"I certainly did go through a low spot for about two or three months. I was lucky I had dabbled in meditation a bit, so I was able to find time for myself and let all the suppressed feelings come to the surface.
"We didn't know a lot about postnatal depression at the time. It was all a bit scary. Alice was having a lot of negative thoughts.
"(But) we didn't invalidate each other's feelings. We sort of accepted the way we both felt. I accepted Alice was a bit off, down, flat, depressed. And I accepted the fact that I was probably going through the same thing."
After their second daughter's birth five years later, Alice again "hit the wall".
"The second time Alice got onto a counsellor straight away. That was a huge help and what we didn't do the first time, which was a huge error," Jim said.
But Jim was able to use the experience of the first birth to help him stay afloat after the second.
"I was being supportive, but making sure I wasn't been dragged into it. I didn't have that stress that I had with the first one. I wasn't flattened," he said.
"Guys who live with someone suffering from postnatal depression walk a very fine line between being supportive and self-preservation."
His advice for other fathers living with postnatal depression: "For me, meditation was a useful tool. Guys need time out or exercise," Jim said.
"Try to get some counselling (or) speak to other guys who have been through the same thing, so you don't feel like there's something wrong.
Source
Jim has experienced the tears, the frustrations and the anger associated with depression.
His wife Alice sank to the depths of despair after the births of both their daughters. And he, too, experienced some similar feelings after the first birth eight years ago.
"We were going to have a drug-free birth," Jim said.
"We had this romantic idea about how it was going to be. Nothing could be further from the truth."
A 30-hour labour ended in a breach birth.
"They had to call in a specialist. The baby had the chord wrapped around her neck.
"I remember at one stage, halfway through the labour, the midwife came up to me and said: `I think we need to use some drugs here'. I rolled up my sleeve and said `I thought you'd never ask'," Jim laughed.
Unaware that help existed for couples needing support after a traumatic birth, Jim and Alice fended for themselves for months.
"They talk about postnatal depression for guys," Jim said.
"I certainly did go through a low spot for about two or three months. I was lucky I had dabbled in meditation a bit, so I was able to find time for myself and let all the suppressed feelings come to the surface.
"We didn't know a lot about postnatal depression at the time. It was all a bit scary. Alice was having a lot of negative thoughts.
"(But) we didn't invalidate each other's feelings. We sort of accepted the way we both felt. I accepted Alice was a bit off, down, flat, depressed. And I accepted the fact that I was probably going through the same thing."
After their second daughter's birth five years later, Alice again "hit the wall".
"The second time Alice got onto a counsellor straight away. That was a huge help and what we didn't do the first time, which was a huge error," Jim said.
But Jim was able to use the experience of the first birth to help him stay afloat after the second.
"I was being supportive, but making sure I wasn't been dragged into it. I didn't have that stress that I had with the first one. I wasn't flattened," he said.
"Guys who live with someone suffering from postnatal depression walk a very fine line between being supportive and self-preservation."
His advice for other fathers living with postnatal depression: "For me, meditation was a useful tool. Guys need time out or exercise," Jim said.
"Try to get some counselling (or) speak to other guys who have been through the same thing, so you don't feel like there's something wrong.
Source