How do you deal with people that are bullying you?

[Cecille]

Now I have to confess that I've been a long-time victim of bullying back when I was still studying. I don't know really if I did something wrong, but since grade 1, my classmates and even my teachers disliked me.

It became even worse when I reached high school. My schoolmates (who happens to be my neighbors as well) always tell me that I look like a horse and other nasty things like that. And when I was hired as a customer relations assistant in a department store, same thing happened. They always downgrade me as if I am someone with an infectious disease.

I just ignored them but deep inside, I was really hurt. I often find myself crying alone as if the world has turned its back on me. I don't really know if it was my fault since I didn't fight back. Or maybe there are just cruel people that cannot seem to act like what we expect them to be.

How about you? How do you deal with them?

 

[zararina]

I think I have not been bullied since I do not let them. When I was still studying, some would tease me about my hair (since I do not effort about my looks and I am simple as possible) and my speaking voice (it was little ) but I do not feel affected with it and just laugh with them. I do not take it seriously as kids are just fond of saying "nonsense" or even made up things just to annoy somebody. For me, as long they would not physically hurt me and say really "bad words" or destroy my reputation, they could get away wit it. LOL

 

[PamBeacher]

Usually when a bully starts bullying you, it is because of their own insecurities. For me, if someone pushes me, I always push back even harder. Not figuratively, but verbally. If you want to get mean and ugly with me, I am going to get meaner and uglier with you. Or we can either be friends, or at least "get along" the choice is yours.

 

[acrouch80]

I was bullied when I was in school because I was overweight and had horrible acne. I am 31 years old now, and still remember the names they called me. I feel sorry for people feel the need to bully others, it's just a pathetic attempt at covering up their own insecurities.

 

[mscuban]

Yes, people are very cruel and what you have described to me is very <Censored> indeed. You would think that after they became adults, they would know how to act like one. I don't really believe that it is you and certainly don't believe you have done anything to deserve this type of treatment. When we are kids even then we should not be subjected to that type of cruelty. Where did they grow up, in the wild by animals? I have been made fun of as a kid as well in grade school. I don't think anyone can escape this because there is always going to be someone out there who's parents no matter how much effort they make in teaching their kids will think they can walk all over people.

My suggestion to you is be strong in yourself. Ignore but when the ignorance is not enough (If it seems impossible to avoid seeing they are neighbors now.) then snap back because you can't lose your self respect and stand up for what you believe in.

Now I have to confess that I've been a long-time victim of bullying back when I was still studying. I don't know really if I did something wrong, but since grade 1, my classmates and even my teachers disliked me.

It became even worse when I reached high school. My schoolmates (who happens to be my neighbors as well) always tell me that I look like a horse and other nasty things like that. And when I was hired as a customer relations assistant in a department store, same thing happened. They always downgrade me as if I am someone with an infectious disease.

I just ignored them but deep inside, I was really hurt. I often find myself crying alone as if the world has turned its back on me. I don't really know if it was my fault since I didn't fight back. Or maybe there are just cruel people that cannot seem to act like what we expect them to be.

How about you? How do you deal with them?

 

[fancyfingers]

Yes, people are very cruel and what you have described to me is very <Censored> indeed. You would think that after they became adults, they would know how to act like one. I don't really believe that it is you and certainly don't believe you have done anything to deserve this type of treatment. When we are kids even then we should not be subjected to that type of cruelty. Where did they grow up, in the wild by animals? I have been made fun of as a kid as well in grade school. I don't think anyone can escape this because there is always going to be someone out there who's parents no matter how much effort they make in teaching their kids will think they can walk all over people.

My suggestion to you is be strong in yourself. Ignore but when the ignorance is not enough (If it seems impossible to avoid seeing they are neighbors now.) then snap back because you can't lose your self respect and stand up for what you believe in.

When ever I am in a situation where there is conflict or negativity, I end up finding the funny thing or things about it and turn the situation around. Same with bullying. I have confronted the bullying and turned it around on them, and they get so angry, especially if it happens in front of a lot of people, they leave me alone. I do not like bullies.

 

[Lee11]

No, I have not been bullied...but I do know some awesome people who have been. I suspect that the bully sees something in you...maybe a sparkle?...something that makes you a threat to them. So, they play you down.

It's is called Tall Poppy Syndrome.

It is the scenario where people decide to cut you down before you realize your inner greatness...or maybe their fear that you may become too big for your boots when you see or realize your greatness? Anyway, people know and see a beautiful spirit when they see it - and some do not like it. It is threatening.

 

[Thumballina]

I was bullied pretty badly throughout all years of my life and even to this day, I still get bullied sometimes. I don't know if its because I have an incredibly scrawny build and I just look vulnerable to people or what. I usually just find a way to turn it around on them and make them feel extremely butt hurt. If they throw a physical blow, I will gladly return it. I may be small but I can say to this day that I have never lost a fight.

Violence is obviously not the answer but when your bullies are physically harming you, you have the right to defend yourself in the situation.

 

[Roxanne_101]

I had people say things about me but not so much to my face. They would say things behind my back and other people would tell me about it. I just ignore it. If they make fun of you they are not worth you feeling bad. They clearly have their own issues. Someone that would stoop to such a low level should not get to you in that way. I know it hurts, but just know that these people are not worth worrying about.

 

[sillylucy]

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I felt so bad when I read that you felt alone. We all feel so alone at times and just know that there are a lot of mean people in this world and also a lot of nice ones too. You're not alone. You'll find a friend soon. I'm sure of it. Just ask them flat out why they are being so nasty to you. Say these words, "Why would you say such a thing? You must be really unhappy with yourself if you're attacking me." This usually throws people off guard and they instantly shut up.

 

[kiwigirl]

The one thing bullies can't stand is when people stand up to them and verbally confront them. They count on us keeping quiet and being upset. I'm in university now but in high school I would stand up for others e.g younger girls when they bullied. No one expected the shy, wallflower to confidently confront them and so they backed off and some even tried to be nice to me. At the time I wasn't brave enough to stand up for myself but it works.

When a few bullies teased a girl for her race I said something along the lines of "Oh wow, I actually feel sorry for you. You think you're cool now making fun of others but you're not intelligent and won't pass the year, let alone get into university. You'll be pumping her gas in a few years. You must be so insecure to pretend to strangle yourself for having to sit next to a black girl. Your parents probably don't love you otherwise they would have raised you better."

Ok it was a little cruel and I shouldn't have joked about gas station attendants .. theres nothing wrong with them. I was just so mad as they girls were being racist pretending to strangle themselves and shoot themselves for having to sit near a black girl. Their behaviour made me sick. The funny thing is after the lunch break they were trying to be all nice. Seriously some of these people only respect you if you put them back in place.

So stand up for yourself and you'll see how insecure these people are. Sorry you had to go through all those awful experiences.

 

[dconklin]

I am sorry to hear of this Cecille, bullies can be so cruel. I agree with others here that they are often insecure about themselves and they do end up taking it out on others. Sometimes they do it because they are jealous of the person they are bullying. Say if you had a wonderful family and they did not, they may bully you because they are actually jealous of what you have. It is hard to say as I think there are many things that contribute to their behavior.

I was not bullied, but I was also one of the tallest girls in class. One boy used to try to push his weight around to get me to do something, but I got real stern in his face and he never did it again. I also had a bit of a temper when I was younger and although I got along with everybody, I didn't like to take crap from others. I also have stood up for people who were being bullied. Standing up to them is something they can't handle.

 

[Mommyjoyce]

I was never bullied when I wa sin school, because I acted tough. LOL But one of my sons got the bullies' focus for quite a number of times. He is an aspie and he was so abused and made a laughing stock. It took me only one, two, three, and I went straight at those guys each time I learned their misdeeds. I even lifted one guy with his shirt front, driving home the point that he can't expect to live their life bullying anybody else.

That stopped them! Well, I was also PTA president and i could make school hell for you! hahaha

 

[Ayane]

Oh man, I can throw my two cents into this one for sure. I have been bullied so many times in my life through family, ex-friend's, people at school, and ex-boyfriends. I can't say AT FIRST I dealt with the situation very well, most of my past was struggling between crying and trying to figure out what my purpose in life was. So if your wondering how I managed to get this far I guess I would say make connections.

If people want advice for the bullying situation and are a guest, prowling, or hidden identity, I would say:
What your doing now is a sign of a blessing. You can let your emotions run wild here and I doubt anyone will be a jerk and point at you and laugh because were all here for different, 'anonymous,' reasons, whether it be making friends, having support, or just cruising life, etc. My connections lied with my teachers, English - Teacher's, bless them all. They were my only solace in a world of what felt like hatred. I would also recommend talking to a counselor. Not saying your crazy or anything, but most people think the word counselor is a sin. (I should know my parents always joked about if i had finished, 'fixing myself.') No, most counselors are there to help you in tough times. Some can be a bit eyebrow lifting because they worry too much and think you might step over the line, but I wouldn't worry yourself about that as the other ones really do want to see you grow up feeling healthy in life. Also again, you can always post on here, or any number of support forums designed for helping others through rough situations. You shouldn't feel shy about approaching them, they had their fair share of ups and downs and if your worried about being discovered you can always create another identity. People won't judge you like that on forums, they just want to share, and help the best they can. Etc

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Back on topic
Now a days I just ignore these people who are attention-seeking and not worth my time whats-so-ever. They only wish to provoke you so they can see you at a low and they can feel high knowing they were capable of pressing those magical buttons that made you cry, or scream in frustration. I believe in karma so hopefully as mean as it sounds, they will get whats coming on them or a wake up alarm to tell them they need to get over being an XXX, hopefully. I also have took steps to break the bonds of friendship I have with people I know who support the bully over me. In my opinion why be friends with someone, who only treats you just as bad. But yeah, that's just me.