Can you girls tell whether or not a guy is a so-called "nice guy" (the negative kind)?

[Peter86]

We have all heard the term "nice guy" before - you know, the kind of guy who's usually very insecure of himself, puts girls on a pedestal and is afraid to state his opinion about things.
I was a little curious about how well you girls can tell if a guy is this way or not - do you get any certain vibes from guys that sort of "give away" that he's the smarmy and insecure type?
Being a guy myself I can say that I sometimes actually get the feeling that a guy either has sex appeal, or is a "nice guy".
The guys with sex appeal just seem laid-back, mature, polite and have good conversational skills, and in almost every case it turns out they have a very relaxed attitude around girls as well, and nice guys... well, they basically seem like the complete opposite type: insecure, stiff and quiet.
That's the impression I get - not necessarily always right of course, but I'm sure it is a decent indicator.

It will obviously take some time to truly become familiar with any person, but can you "feel" if a guy has that confident attitude around girls with some certainty?

 

[Cecille]

If you ask "can we feel it in the first meeting?", no. It really needs time. Besides, I would not like to jump into conclusions in just a few times of seeing a guy. Also, there are guys that aren't really bad as they seem. Just like my hubby. Everyday, I get to learn how nice he is to me and my kids. And am glad that he came into my life.

 

[criticalthinking]

Body language plays a big part in being able to tell if someone is insecure, so if you're good and reading body language, you may know right away. I know many nice guys who are also quite confident, but I understand how you menat it. I know I look for self confidence more than anything else, but I mean the good kind of self confidence, not arrogance.

 

[Peter86]

Yeah, I guess that's what I mean, that some guys seem to have a specific attitude that just makes you kind of feel fairly certain that they are laid-back in general, and therefore also among girls. =P
I've always considered guys like Sam Neill to be that type of person, there's something about him that makes it almost impossible to think of him as a "nice guy".

 

[PamBeacher]

To you younger ladies, please head my warnings when I say look into all meetings with guys very carefully. Even low down snakes, perpetrate that they are these so called "nice guys". Only to find out they are trying to trick you. They get you to fall for them hard, then they pull the switcharoo, and turn into a major jerkwad. They figure once they have you hooked. You will do your best to hang on. IN most cases girls do just that. So take some advise from a older lady. I wish someone warned me of this back in my younger days. P.S. All guys have one goal. They just want a place to put "it" it can be a hole in the sand, or it can be you. They really don't have a preference.

 

[zararina]

It depends on what is the definition of a girl for the nice guy. Nice guy for me is a gentleman, knows how to respect woman and decent in his actions and words. It does not necessary a good looking guy, it could be just decent looking or neat or not scary looking guy. Lol
And it was hard to tell it immediately specially if you would just meet the guy once cause they could just pretend. It will takes time and some kind of observation and investigation to know more about him.

 

[Peter86]

It depends on what is the definition of a girl for the nice guy. Nice guy for me is a gentleman, knows how to respect woman and decent in his actions and words.

Yeah, this is pretty much what I've personally always considered to be attractive qualities in a guy - the type who seems happy with his life already and who doesn't really "need" a girlfriend, he just enjoys life and if he happens to meet someone he likes then he treats the girl as an individual, shows interest in her as a person, but he's also proud of being sexually attracted to her and is not afraid to establish physical contact.

It seems pretty common among guys to act a little too smarmy and insecure around girls, and I can imagine that this is a major turn-off to most girls, at least in a long-term perspective.