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Break up trouble - dumped me because I didn't want to change, he and friends say I'm self centered

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Lugia

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Jun 13, 2010
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My boyfriend dumped me because he said that my personality is creepy and that I was self centered because I didn't want to change and therefore act like somebody else, and he also said that my interests are creepy as well. All his friends said the same thing and that I'm selfish because I was too weird for him, even though my personality really can't be helped and my interests are things that have been a part of my life ever since I was a baby...

It's all my fault, isn't it? :( One thing's for sure though - I am never, and I mean never, going to be in another relationship for as long as I live...
 
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Wow, your ex sounds like a complete jerk! Guess what, someone who loves you will love you for who you really are. They will embrace your "weirdness" instead of reject it. Your ex did you a favor by ending the relationship, now you are able to move on and find someone that will love you just the way you are!

Don't ever change for anyone! :)
 
He's a jerk and you're better off without him. He'll most likely come crawling back at some point when he realizes that he's an idiot and that you were able to move on just fine without him. I know no one wants to hear this kind of stuff after a bad break up but it's the truth. And if someone can't accept you for who you are you could never truly be happy with them anyway. And unless you have a bunch of dead bodies under your house I seriously doubt you're "creepy" :)
 
I agree that you will be better without him and his friends. You should not be forced to change yourself just to please him and his friends. Besides, he knows you as you are before entering in a relationship with you so why you should change? If your personality does not hurt anyone and not bad for you, no reasons for you to change. A change is just good if its for the better and not just to please others.
 
He is the self centered one since he obviously does not care if you are unhappy being something you are not. If you force yourself to change for someone you will be miserable the entire time.
 
I think you are being too hard on yourself when you say you are done with men. That was just one experience with a nasty bad boy and there is a man right for you out there. Sometimes when humans don't understand you, they say you are weird, you dint have to change to impress anyone. Just be yourself and soon you will be able to give love another chance.
 
Dont call of men altogether chick,this is exactly what he wants. Im sorry but he sounds like a fool. The fact that he's picked at your personality and interests tells me he feels threatened that your far more interesting than he is, his mates are just backing him up and obviously dont have brains of there own ignore them. Keep being yourself and i guarantee someone will come along who loves that you dont follow the crowd, loves you for you.
 
^ I agree. It sounds like you got burned pretty bad, but you're obviously better off without him. In a healthy relationship, you won't be made feel like that and it'll benefit your life. It takes some time and you may have your heart broken a few times before you find someone who is really right for you, but when you do, it's all worth it. :)
 
thank you all so much for your words, it really makes me feel better. However, just a few days after this all happened (the initial break-up happened in August) this really nice guy came along and helped me deal with the people. I became very hated, yeah, but he was there for me and when I finally went back to the site it was awkward, but he helped me to adjust to things, and now not only do they all accept me again but we're good friends now... and you guys and that boy all helped me so much.

Oh, and that really nice boy who helped me? He's my boyfriend now. :)
 
Lugia said:
thank you all so much for your words, it really makes me feel better. However, just a few days after this all happened (the initial break-up happened in August) this really nice guy came along and helped me deal with the people. I became very hated, yeah, but he was there for me and when I finally went back to the site it was awkward, but he helped me to adjust to things, and now not only do they all accept me again but we're good friends now... and you guys and that boy all helped me so much.

Oh, and that really nice boy who helped me? He's my boyfriend now. :)
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Sounds like it all turned out okay after all. And hey, if things don't last forever with this guy, that's okay, too, and just keep in mind all the fun you're having now, etc. :)
 
Good to see things actually worked in your favor in the end. Rule of thumb: You should never have to change for anyone. If a guy really loves you, he will take you as you are. Your ex didn't really love you and he was the selfish one for asking you to change just to please him. I wish you and your new boyfriend the best. :)
 
A nice start to a nasty ending. See, there's always a silver lining. You finally meet someone who can accept you for the way you are and thanks to your ex-boyfriend who left you. If he hadn't, you'd probably be miserable wanting to please him by changing who you are. Don't ever change who you really are for anyone. You will end up hating yourself and the other person too.
 
I never heard self centered being describe as creepy. Your ex boyfriend might actually be the creepy one.
 
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Good for you!!! I'm so glad it worked out. Sometimes we have to deal with a few jerks so we can appreciate the good guys when they come around.
 
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