Lottie
New Member
I wrote this in another blog and pasted it here...so tired and exhausted to write it again.
Today I went to a funeral of a dear family friend. My dearest and closest school friend of 20 years...her Grandmother (Nanny) passed away last Monday. My friend and I used to live in eachothers pockets, always together and never apart. I always used to stay at her house and she at mine and our families were very close. We come from the same backgrounds, share the same family histories with all its skeletons, even birthdays are one day apart. I have always thought she is a soul mate.
Over the years we have parted and drifted , only to bump in to eachother again and its always felt like we are never apart. She is like a sister to me.
It was very very sad and surreal. I looked at the coffin and just could not get around the fact that Nanny was in there. What made it worse for me is that over the past couple of years I had lost contact with her and my best friend and the remorse and guilt I have felt especially today was horrible.
I hadn't cried at all when I found out, again I think its because it is so surreal to me and its been a while since I have seen them. Also i didn't find out until a couple of days ago because the letter was sent to the wrong address!! However seeing the coffin lying there and when everyone got up to sing, thats when it hit me. I was passed the little booklet with the hymns and prayers in it and on the front cover there was a photo of Nanny and how I remembered her. I broke down and sobbed, I haven't cried like that for the longest time.... I cried for Nanny, for the memories and for my friends pain.
The service was really sweet and funny actually. There was nothing in it that was sad, only reminders of the good times. My friend stood there very bravily and quiet, just a few tears I think she was being brave for her sister. I think she is also still in deep shock, until she saw me....
She came upto me and we threw are arms around eachother and she really cried. Both of us just stood there for the longest time hugging eachother.
Its like we have never been apart.
Now I am home and feeling just so sad ... Sad that Nanny never got to see Alex, Sad for the time that we were all apart. Sad that I never got to tell Nanny how much of an influence she was in my younger years. It happens in life I guess...people drift in and out. However me and my friend will always be friends like we have proved throughout the years, wherever we are.
I just feel numb and exhausted now. Just drained.
Today I went to a funeral of a dear family friend. My dearest and closest school friend of 20 years...her Grandmother (Nanny) passed away last Monday. My friend and I used to live in eachothers pockets, always together and never apart. I always used to stay at her house and she at mine and our families were very close. We come from the same backgrounds, share the same family histories with all its skeletons, even birthdays are one day apart. I have always thought she is a soul mate.
Over the years we have parted and drifted , only to bump in to eachother again and its always felt like we are never apart. She is like a sister to me.
It was very very sad and surreal. I looked at the coffin and just could not get around the fact that Nanny was in there. What made it worse for me is that over the past couple of years I had lost contact with her and my best friend and the remorse and guilt I have felt especially today was horrible.
I hadn't cried at all when I found out, again I think its because it is so surreal to me and its been a while since I have seen them. Also i didn't find out until a couple of days ago because the letter was sent to the wrong address!! However seeing the coffin lying there and when everyone got up to sing, thats when it hit me. I was passed the little booklet with the hymns and prayers in it and on the front cover there was a photo of Nanny and how I remembered her. I broke down and sobbed, I haven't cried like that for the longest time.... I cried for Nanny, for the memories and for my friends pain.
The service was really sweet and funny actually. There was nothing in it that was sad, only reminders of the good times. My friend stood there very bravily and quiet, just a few tears I think she was being brave for her sister. I think she is also still in deep shock, until she saw me....
She came upto me and we threw are arms around eachother and she really cried. Both of us just stood there for the longest time hugging eachother.
Its like we have never been apart.
Now I am home and feeling just so sad ... Sad that Nanny never got to see Alex, Sad for the time that we were all apart. Sad that I never got to tell Nanny how much of an influence she was in my younger years. It happens in life I guess...people drift in and out. However me and my friend will always be friends like we have proved throughout the years, wherever we are.
I just feel numb and exhausted now. Just drained.
