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when did you ladies tell family and friends?

M

MissV

New Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
2
Location
Canada
Hey Ladies.
My fiance and I have this disagreement. .
I want to let everyone know but , he wants
To wait until my next doctor appointment.
This reason is..I have aready had a miscarriage
And it was hard to let everyone know after it happened.
I understand where he's coming from, it was very hard on
both of us. Feedback?
 
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I made the same decision that your fiance suggested. I'd had a miscarriage, too, and I needed to be sure a doc confirmed that all was well before I started announcing. It *was* well and my daughter was born healthy (although prematurely) but it was much easier on me this way.
 
I had a few miscarriages, so we always waited until the 12 weeks were passed to tell everyone. The only people we did tell before the 12 weeks was my parents and my sister. I also told my best friend. :)
 
Wait... it won't hurt to wait a little...

traditionally in Greek families you don't say until the 12 weeks..
 
Yes, I found that it is just sensible to wait until the 12 weeks have passed. Whether or not you have a history, such as I did.
 
I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks with my second pregnancy. I was glad that I had waited and only a few people knew because I couldn't have coped with everyone feeling sorry for me, I just wanted privacy.
 
If you have a history of miscarriages, wait until your showing, about 4-5 months usually. If not, then you can tell as soon as you find out. I always told as soon as I suspected. But with my first I was a teen so had to tell someone to get to the dr, the second I was riding with my husband on the truck & had to tell him to stop at a Walmart so I could get a test, & the third I told him just because he guessed it.
 
I think it is nice to wait a little while before telling everyone, it gives te couple a chance to get used to the idea of being pregnant first.
 
I also would wait too to tell most of the people. I would tell very close members of the family who would be my support especially if anything was to go wrong because they would be highly disappointed if I hadn't have told them and something went wrong and they couldn't support us.

Saying that though, it all depends on the amount of morning sickness you get too as I got it really bad with my first ones and people just knew I was pregnant lol
 
I'd probably wait, cause of the medical history. Even relatives can go through heartbreak over the loss of a baby, especially if they got their hopes up.

In my situation, there was almost no way to keep the secret, cause I was gaining weight even before I got the official word.

I went through an early stage miscarriage, first and then a month or so later my daughter was conceived. I knew within days after my first missed cycle that I was pregnant, cause I am never late. And, though I did the tests at home, for some reason, I had to wait well over a month to get a doctor's appointment. My insurance was set up that way, though I can't remember why.

Anyway, I didn't get official news until I went to the OB/Gyn and got the test done. At that point, I could take a breath and relax cause I knew my baby was really on the way. Before then, I was concerned it might just be a false reading from my hormones being so out of whack cause of the previous situation.
 
Well that just depends on how close you are to your family. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage but I did not tell anyone in my family and till this day they do not know. With my first full term pregnancy I told me mom when I was about 4 months pregnant. If you want support from your family if the worst happens then you should tell them. I personally just wanted to grieve by myself and be left alone when I miscarried.
 
clauemi said:
Well that just depends on how close you are to your family. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage but I did not tell anyone in my family and till this day they do not know. With my first full term pregnancy I told me mom when I was about 4 months pregnant. If you want support from your family if the worst happens then you should tell them. I personally just wanted to grieve by myself and be left alone when I miscarried.
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I understand. Sometimes, there are no words to heal that pain, no hugs that can make the pain more tolerable. My heart goes out to you. :(

About a month and a half before my daughter was conceived, I started bleeding and it didn't stop for 14 days. About seven days in, I realized it wasn't a normal menstrual cycle but I had miscarried a VERY early pregnancy, one that I didn't even know about before the bleeding started. And, it makes sense cause around Christmas day (about a month before), I had felt very nauseated by the smell of spicy Italian tomatoes and thought it was just a fluke. I would have just gotten pregnant around that time. Don't know how I missed the early signs but it was only a month in, so nothing more than slight queasiness and after ten years of infertility, it's not like that would have meant anything.

I didn't have time to grieve the baby though, cause my daughter was conceived less than two months later. I don't know the exact date.

But, the very next time I missed my time of the month, I knew THEN that i was pregnant, even before taking two pregnancy tests.
 
My husband knew even before I could conform it myself within the first month. I missed my periods and when I told my man, he said I should not wait for them. I became very sick and so everyone knew withing the first 2 months.
 
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How far along are you now? Miscarriages can still happen after 12 weeks, but the risk is much, much lower than in the first 12 weeks. My immediate family knew right away when I was pregnant. Extended family and friends I told when I was about 4 months along. It really is a matter of personal choice.
 
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