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What to do?

L

Luv2write

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Joined
Feb 26, 2011
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262
My family loves me a lot but sometimes they just do not care. They will plan things and if I can not go it is not a big deal to them. But if someone else can not go, they switch it. What do you suggest that I do?
 
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I would try having a calm, but firm and honest conversation with them. See if maybe they really are not aware of what they are doing.
 
I am not sure if they are aware or not. It just seems that I do not matter all the time to them. Why I do not know. I wish that it were not so complicated.
 
I agree that you should talk to them. After all they are your family. Nothing is going to change unless you say something.
 
Have you thought about why they do this. If you are young perhaps they are trying to respect your need for your own social / working life. You should talk to them and tell them calmly how you feel.
 
I have talked to some of them about it and they understand. It is just a matter of getting one of my siblings to understand. And I know how hard that will be. It will be like talking to a brick wall.
 
Dealing with siblings can make things complicated. Sounds a little like my family. I am the middle child and I am the most responsible one of us three. My siblings often make issues of things and then my parents make changes. I feel if I make an issue it is bad, because "I should know better". Yeah, sometimes it is annoying, but most of the time I do not let it bother me.
 
If you talk to your family and your sibling still doesn't get it, just deal with the ones ho do understand and hope that gradually your sibling will get older and wiser, hopefully other family members ill help to make it better for you from now on.
 
oceangypsy said:
Dealing with siblings can make things complicated. Sounds a little like my family. I am the middle child and I am the most responsible one of us three. My siblings often make issues of things and then my parents make changes. I feel if I make an issue it is bad, because "I should know better". Yeah, sometimes it is annoying, but most of the time I do not let it bother me.
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I'd take it as a compliment that your family thinks you are level headed enough to be able to take the disappointment without flipping out. Parents only make adjustments to their plans for a child or grown up child when they think that person is not emotionally mature enough to handle rejection or disappointment. They think you can and don't go out of their way to spare your feelings in the situation. If it does bother you to be excluded in this way, then talk with them and let them know that you want to hang out with them too and want some concessions made on your behalf.
 
moneymakingmom said:
I'd take it as a compliment that your family thinks you are level headed enough to be able to take the disappointment without flipping out. Parents only make adjustments to their plans for a child or grown up child when they think that person is not emotionally mature enough to handle rejection or disappointment. They think you can and don't go out of their way to spare your feelings in the situation. If it does bother you to be excluded in this way, then talk with them and let them know that you want to hang out with them too and want some concessions made on your behalf.
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Right, sis. Maybe they just see Luv2write as a level-headed child. Maybe even parents need to be understood sometimes. Just look at the whole picture and maybe you'll understand more what really is happening to the family.
After all, you are their child and parents love their children.
 
Cecil Estrera said:
Right, sis. Maybe they just see Luv2write as a level-headed child. Maybe even parents need to be understood sometimes. Just look at the whole picture and maybe you'll understand more what really is happening to the family.
After all, you are their child and parents love their children.
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Right! Before I was a mom, I thought of everything as if my own mother was doing things purposefully to inconvenience me as if she would actually take so much time to plot against my happiness. How silly, right? Anyway, when I became a mom, i realized that there are two sides to the story. Some days, it's tough being the 'bad guy' as kids sometimes call parents, cause we can't allow them to do just every little thing cause it's not in their best benefit. Now, that I'm a parent, the scenery looks much different and I know one day, my own daughter will think i am plotting against her, at least until she becomes a mom and realizes that I am just doing what I think is best for her well being.
 
I wonder, are you a middle child luv2write?:oops: I suggest you stick with your plans and let them stick with theirs. I'm sure they'll be missing you all the same. Perhaps, this is just a one time thing. Is it?:rolleyes:
 
moneymakingmom said:
Right! Before I was a mom, I thought of everything as if my own mother was doing things purposefully to inconvenience me as if she would actually take so much time to plot against my happiness. How silly, right? Anyway, when I became a mom, i realized that there are two sides to the story. Some days, it's tough being the 'bad guy' as kids sometimes call parents, cause we can't allow them to do just every little thing cause it's not in their best benefit. Now, that I'm a parent, the scenery looks much different and I know one day, my own daughter will think i am plotting against her, at least until she becomes a mom and realizes that I am just doing what I think is best for her well
being.
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Yeah raising kids can really be frustrating at times. Now I believe what the elders said to me before, "when you become a parent, you'll know how it feels to treated as bad as that." I realized that my mom was not just disallowing me, it's just that she knows what's right or wrong for me to do. Every child should love their parents now that they are still alive, as they won't be here forever.
 
Let them miss you!;)
And of course still find a way on how you could tell them your thoughts regarding this matter in a polite way. Should you discussed it first to your mother or father, to let them know what you really feel.
 
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Aww we are the same. My parents know that I;'m not a fussy person when it comes to gatherings. Whether I am left out, I don't make a scene and throw fits. Maybe you're the same. You are more understanding and mature so you're parents thinks you will understand. :)
 
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