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What Should I do?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Parenting' started by angelle, Dec 2, 2013.

  1. angelle

    angelle Member

    I am now 26 years of age and I have always wanted to start having children at the age of 23 but evidently, things didn't happen as planned.

    The person that I wanted to have a baby with for the past 10 years is now with someone else. I had never imagine sharing a child with anyone else. I am dating now but I don't love him enough to have children with him, but I really want to start a family. Should I wait until I find the right one or should I just start now?

    I feel as though I won't find the right one until I am in my 30s and having a baby at that age is ideal for me. I already have weight issues and I think it'll be harder to lose the baby weight at that age.
     
  2. claudine

    claudine Member

    If I were you, I'd wait for a very special someone. You are still very young, so there is no need to rush. I'm 28 and I don't think about children yet, I'm not ready. It's such an important decision!
    I think that children are the happiest when they know that their parents really love each other.
     
  3. Trellum

    Trellum Member

    Angelle, I have several questions for you: Would you marry this guy? Could you see yourself living happily with him? Do you love him at all?

    If you are not sure about this guy I'd recommend you to wait for the guy you'd like to spend the rest of your life with, because having children just to have them isn't the best idea. You should also have in mind tat once you have a child with someone, that person will always be in your life, even if things go bad and you end up separating. That's why you must pick the person you have a kid with wisely.

    Just wait to find someone who fulfills all your expectations, having a child is a big decision in someone's life and shouldn't be taken lightly. If you want to bring a child into this world, then make sure you have found the right father for him/her :)
     
  4. angelle

    angelle Member

    Thanks for responding. I completely agree, and after thinking about it, I think that it's best to wait until someone else comes along that is going to sweep me off of my feet. I want my children to be created out of love.
     
  5. angelle

    angelle Member

    Very good questions! After thinking about it, I realized that I don't think I love him in a way that I should love a spouse. I love him like I would love a friend. Having those feelings led me to believe that there is no way that I could live happily ever after with him. I think the best thing for me to do would be to wait until my prince charming comes along.
     
  6. kiwigirl

    kiwigirl Member

    Sometimes things in life don't happen when we thought they would and that's okay. Having children in your thirties, wouldn't be so bad, I know plenty of women who have had healthy successful pregnancies in their early forties, many of them thought they would've had children in their twenties but life had other plans for them.

    Instead of concentrating on your ideal age to get pregnant, just wait till you're with a man you're deeply in love with and who you feel would make a wonderful father. If you get to 35 and you haven't met the right man, then you can always look at adoption or other alternatives. Where there is a will there is a way.

    As for me I'm 24 and no where near ready to be a mom ha ha.
     
  7. trishgl

    trishgl Member

    Yes you will have more difficulty losing the baby weight when you are older. Having said that though it is not a reason to fast track having a baby. Parenting is serious business and you want a partner that will also be there for your child whether or not you are still together. Yes there are loads of single parents out there who are making it work and kudos to them but your son or daughter will still ask about his/her father or need him on a certain level. You need to pick the right one, don't hurry.
     
  8. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    It's understandable that you feel the urge strongly, but it's not something to rush into. I'm glad you gave it some more thought. You'll find the right guy when the time is right. Bringing another human being into this world is a huge responsibility (and a very rewarding one). It's best to do so in a loving relationship with full support. The best things in life are worth waiting for.
     
  9. leahlav812

    leahlav812 New Member

    If I was in your situation I would wait to find the right person, someone you know you love and trust with everything. Having a child is such a big thing, and a lot of people now don't treat as how important it really is. If you don't know if you really love this person how could you know that you will be able to raise a child with them. I think waiting is the best option here.
     
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