Should I Choose My Love Or Life?????

[jessikaz]

hey u guys....
im not new to this forum, and this is my first post. i saw all these really interesting topic and currently i just got this major problem that i have no one to talk to. i guess i just need some suggestions.....
anyway....here it goes...(its quite long and complicated..so thanks to those who is patient to finish reading my story)

i am with my bf for almost a year now and before him, i use to have a long term relationship with his best friend..i've been together with my ex for 4 years. during the 4 years with my ex, we've planned to get married and go live in the states (btw im an american citizen and the both of them are from China) but we broke up during the visa application due to some issues regarding "prostitues." and soon afterwards i'm with my current bf now.
my current boyfriend is really nice to me...and i think the both of us are truly in love, we have the same intrests, we do almost everything single thing together and i'm sure we can make it through the long run. however, there are some financial problems, the both of us are trying to get a job or do a small investment buisness but it's not working out right. we still get financial support from both of our parents because in China, it's so hard to get a job. i sometimes feel really bad and im sure he does too, but except from the help from our families or wait a couple of months, there is no way we can survive. besides, my parents don't really agree with the idea that i will spend the rest of my life with him simply because i will have no life, i'll probably be earning the min. amount of salary here.
On the other side, my ex's visa is approved and that means we can go to the states and have a life there. we can study, earn a sufficient salary and so on. my parents are seriously urging me to go there, but i'm not sure if i should leave my current bf. there is no way that i can go there and IF everything doens't turn out right i can turn my way back. i know if i leave him, everything will be over. so i'm really really paranoid right now, i'm not sure if i should choose leaving my a person i know i love, or a path that can make my life a better one?

i serioulsy need help, this whole thing is like really gettin me nuts and i can't stand it anymore~ there is really no one i can talk to right now because i don't have any friends here in china. The only people i interefere are my current bf, his family and mine.
pls...if any of you have any suggestions...pls let me know~~~!!!!!

love...
jess

 

[Snowbaby]

Well sweetie, you have come to the right place for people to talk to. Everyone here is lovely.

Ok, let me see if I have this... you split with your ex for varius reasons, got with your current boyf, not you ex's visa is approved and you're trying to decide whether to go to the states with the ex?

The simple fact it boils down to is.... don't do what other people say is right... if it's not right for you. It will end in regret.

I think you need to have a really long think about which guy means the most to you, and which guy you can truly go through a relationship with.

Talk it out as much as you need to xxxxx

 

[Sezza]

Well i agree with snowy you have to do what feels right for you. There is no point doing something you dont feel right about because you will regret it for the rest of your life

 

[jessikaz]

hey...thanx u guys~~
do you really think so??? i mean i've talked to my ex before...and he said that we can make it through....
but its just that if i stay here with my ex...life will be really difficult for me. i haven't finish school yet.....i really want to finish my diploma course and get a degree. i can't accomplish that here.....
do you guys think i should just stay in china and see how my future goes??? maybe one of the reason i even thought about going to the states is i really want to let my mom be happy~~ she seriously insists me leaving here....
i don't know you guys...i'm like feeling really really down these days. everynight when im ready to go to bed my brain is like going nuts with the two options~ its just so hard....
thanks u guys for the replies....im not sure how it will go....
my ex already bought the plane tickets....and is leaving this sat. im really worried~

 

[Snowbaby]

Hunni, this is going to sound really harsh but I mean it in the nicest possible manner.... there is only one person who can decide this.... and it's you!!

We cannot make any decisions for you and nor should you base your decision on what we say. We can offer our opinion, but it's your choice. If you did go to the states, and it didn't work out, you could always go back to your family.

Ask yourself one question.... what would make you happiest... not who and not where, but what?

What do you WANT to do? Put everyone aside, you boyf, your ex, you family.... put yourself forward, what do you want?