clauemi
Member
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2011
- Messages
- 237
Me and my two kids have been living with my parents for two years now. We moved in when my ex husband and I were about to split. I can't wait till I can afford to move out with my kids and they get to have their own place they can call home. I do love my parents of course and they are a great mom and dad in the sense that they love us and would do anything for us. The thing is they stress me out more than my toddlers do.
They criticize every single thing I do in my life whether it's about me or my kids. Now I know what you are thinking, every parent does this. I don't think my parents set a very good example for us and therefore do not have the right to judge me for things they never did. My mom has always been a very private person, I have never been close to her even though I have tried many, many times. My dad is my step dad and he was never at home, worked a lot and when not working he was drinking. Me and my brother never had the 'sex talk', were never warned about drugs or bullies or anything really. My mom always used to tell us we were Jehovas Witness and therefore not allowed to be friends with non Jehovas Witness. The thing is we never went to religious services or participated in any other religious things so me and my brother were not allowed to have friends but also we did not have friends from church cause we never went. I am surprised that I did not grow up to be a total loser, my brother on the other hand has many issues and I am 100% positive my parents made him that way but that's another story.
So now that I am an adult with children of my own I don't appreciate my mom meddling in the way I bring up my kids. For example, she gets mad at me for letting my kids cry. HELLO! they are toddlers, of course they are going to cry when they don't get they're way. I mean if my child asks me for a knife I am not just going to give it to her so she will not cry anymore. Another thing she does is compare things that I do now to when she was my age. Like when my kids go to the pediatricians she thinks it's weird all the things they check up on and the vaccines they get. She grew up in Mexico where the government does not enforce as much as in US and my childhood was over 20 years ago! My dad just does everything my mom tells him to so I get a double dose every time.
Another big issue is that they make me feel guilty for them moving to my city. When I had my first baby I had to go back to work because we needed the money and I did not feel comfortable leaving anyone with my baby so I asked them to move. She never once told me that they did not want to move but now she brings it up all the time by just 'hinting' here and there and never saying it to my face. She will talk about how she is so sad here, about how many more financial problems they have here, about how she hates the traffic etc... She makes me feel awful for bringing them down here, if she would have told me that she did not want to move I would have found another way to make it work.
Another problem is that I quit working outside of home, partly because I wanted to spend time with my kids and the other was because my mom kept complaining about taking care of my kids. She has problems with insomnia and anorexia but those are because she has had them for many, many years and has never gone to the doctor till recently. I had to stop working even though I need the money because of her issues that are not my fault and now it is harder for me to provide for myself and my kids. A couple of days ago my dad had the nerve to ask me why I did not get myself an education. Number one being because I can't rely on my mom to take care of my kids so that I can get a job to pay for an education and number two it would mean I would not spend any time with my kids with school and work.
I am also trying to show my kids discipline like time outs when they act up. Sometimes when I say no to my kids like on having junk food before breakfast my parents go up and just say yes to them. AAAAAAHHHHHRRRGGGG!!!!! It makes me so mad and sad at the same time that they would do something like that, making it harder for me to teach my kids.
I am planning to move out in six months and I know I will get sermoned for that too. My mom will probably say something like 'you can't live by yourself just you and the kids'. They can't expect my kids to never have a home of their own. One part of me thinks that my mom just does not want to let me and my brother grow up and leave her, I don't know what she is thinking since she never talks to me.
I feel like crying my eyes out right now but don't like my kids to see me crying. On top of this I still have an ex husband who likes to make my life miserable. Maybe some of you think I am just complaining and some who have gone through this will now how I feel. I know this is long and I have much more I would like to write about to relieve all of this stress but since I can't I thank anybody who cared enough to read this.
They criticize every single thing I do in my life whether it's about me or my kids. Now I know what you are thinking, every parent does this. I don't think my parents set a very good example for us and therefore do not have the right to judge me for things they never did. My mom has always been a very private person, I have never been close to her even though I have tried many, many times. My dad is my step dad and he was never at home, worked a lot and when not working he was drinking. Me and my brother never had the 'sex talk', were never warned about drugs or bullies or anything really. My mom always used to tell us we were Jehovas Witness and therefore not allowed to be friends with non Jehovas Witness. The thing is we never went to religious services or participated in any other religious things so me and my brother were not allowed to have friends but also we did not have friends from church cause we never went. I am surprised that I did not grow up to be a total loser, my brother on the other hand has many issues and I am 100% positive my parents made him that way but that's another story.
So now that I am an adult with children of my own I don't appreciate my mom meddling in the way I bring up my kids. For example, she gets mad at me for letting my kids cry. HELLO! they are toddlers, of course they are going to cry when they don't get they're way. I mean if my child asks me for a knife I am not just going to give it to her so she will not cry anymore. Another thing she does is compare things that I do now to when she was my age. Like when my kids go to the pediatricians she thinks it's weird all the things they check up on and the vaccines they get. She grew up in Mexico where the government does not enforce as much as in US and my childhood was over 20 years ago! My dad just does everything my mom tells him to so I get a double dose every time.
Another big issue is that they make me feel guilty for them moving to my city. When I had my first baby I had to go back to work because we needed the money and I did not feel comfortable leaving anyone with my baby so I asked them to move. She never once told me that they did not want to move but now she brings it up all the time by just 'hinting' here and there and never saying it to my face. She will talk about how she is so sad here, about how many more financial problems they have here, about how she hates the traffic etc... She makes me feel awful for bringing them down here, if she would have told me that she did not want to move I would have found another way to make it work.
Another problem is that I quit working outside of home, partly because I wanted to spend time with my kids and the other was because my mom kept complaining about taking care of my kids. She has problems with insomnia and anorexia but those are because she has had them for many, many years and has never gone to the doctor till recently. I had to stop working even though I need the money because of her issues that are not my fault and now it is harder for me to provide for myself and my kids. A couple of days ago my dad had the nerve to ask me why I did not get myself an education. Number one being because I can't rely on my mom to take care of my kids so that I can get a job to pay for an education and number two it would mean I would not spend any time with my kids with school and work.
I am also trying to show my kids discipline like time outs when they act up. Sometimes when I say no to my kids like on having junk food before breakfast my parents go up and just say yes to them. AAAAAAHHHHHRRRGGGG!!!!! It makes me so mad and sad at the same time that they would do something like that, making it harder for me to teach my kids.
I am planning to move out in six months and I know I will get sermoned for that too. My mom will probably say something like 'you can't live by yourself just you and the kids'. They can't expect my kids to never have a home of their own. One part of me thinks that my mom just does not want to let me and my brother grow up and leave her, I don't know what she is thinking since she never talks to me.
I feel like crying my eyes out right now but don't like my kids to see me crying. On top of this I still have an ex husband who likes to make my life miserable. Maybe some of you think I am just complaining and some who have gone through this will now how I feel. I know this is long and I have much more I would like to write about to relieve all of this stress but since I can't I thank anybody who cared enough to read this.
I think your parents are trying to do what they think is best for you,even though they are going about it the wrong way. Don't worry when you move out I am sure you will prove them wrong! 
