My friend is an attention seeker! Help!?

[Kattykleee]

One my closest friends is a total attention seeker and it's come to the point where I'm almost yelling at her and calling her out on it.

For one thing, probably half the guys in our grade (I go to a small school, about 80 people per grade) have liked her, and she knows it. She knows it because the guys have told her! But she still texts me and is all "Boys hate me, I will never find anyone." And when I point out that many guys have liked her she denies it and is all like "No guys have ever liked me!"


Another thing, she hates taking pictures. But here's the thing: she takes millions of selfies. If we are with a huge group of people she will make a huge scene of hiding away from a camera or phone, but if she's alone, she takes so many selfies. I've taken her ipod before and I've looked through her pictures and it was just rows and rows of selfies. And then she goes off about how she is "so ugly in pictures" when she has so many selfies ugh it makes me want to slap her.

And then, if one of our other friends invites her to their house or something, she goes out of her way to brag to me about how she's hanging out with someone else. I'll be texting her and then out of no-where she will be like "Oh, if you want to hangout tomorrow, I just want to let you know I can't because I was invited to ____'s house." Or she'll be like "i have to go because I'm going to the beach with ___ and then sleeping over at her house."


Lastly, she always complains about how she thinks shes never good enough. She's always like "My parents like ___ (her twin sister) better because she gets better grades and is nicer." And let me tell you, this girl is just as smart as her twin sister. They always get A's on EVERY test and their grade scores are almost identical! And also, if she gets anything lower than an A she's like "oh no this is terrible." And starts complaining!


I honestly don't know if I can call her my best friend anymore because I am fed up with her complaining and attention seeking. I need help. Should I tell her how I feel? Should I stop talking to her?

Note: We are 13 if that helps in any way.

 

[jenniferb7890]

It's always best to tell her how you feel. Just try to tell her in the best, non-accusatory way you can. It could very well be that while you see her as a person who gets everything, she actually can't see it.

 

[Kattykleee]

It's always best to tell her how you feel. Just try to tell her in the best, non-accusatory way you can. It could very well be that while you see her as a person who gets everything, she actually can't see it.

Thanks for the advice! How should I tell her though? If you have any ideas on how to start the conversation I would really appreciate it

 

[dconklin]

13 can be a fun but yet confusing age. You are learning a lot, body changing and just so much going on with emotions too. My daughter is approaching this age soon and is friends with girls who are 13. I think you should be honest with your friend, I always believe in honesty, but also try to not let some of this bother you as much as it does - I know that sounds hard trust me I was a teenager once (just a long time ago ).

I may or may not be right in my statements below as it is hard to say for sure, but here are some possibilities for her behavior:

For test scores, her parents may really push her to get good grades so if she gets less then an A she may feel like she will be in trouble or like she let her parents down.

When she goes to another friend's house, maybe she wants to explain to you where she is so if you text her or want her to hang out you know she is busy. It may or may not be bragging.

When it comes to the boys, it may just be her not knowing what she wants or maybe just seeing it. I see friends' daughters going through similar right now and it just started to happen right around 13.

One other thing to think of too is maybe she has low self esteem.

 

[claudine]

I think that maybe she feels a little insecure. It's normal to feel like this when you are a teenager. If I were you, I would talk to her. Tell her that you honestly don't understand why she acts this way. And maybe tell her that in your opinion she is a really interesting person. If she is insecure, she needs to hear it often.

 

[angelle]

13? Cool! Hopefully, I will be teaching English in that age bracket. After reading your post, it seems as if your best friend loves to hear someone say good things about her. She will say she's ugly, just to hear a friend say she's not. I think people like that have internal issues that people would never expect, and yes it can be highly annoying to have a friend like that but you have to tell her how you feel. Even if you don't tell her how you feel, eventually you will grow to dislike her and not want to hang around her anyone. If you want her to improve, just tell her.

 

[AliceX3]

I don't think she is attention seeking. She is probably just insecure because she has to constantly compete with her twin sister.

 

[Trellum]

Take it easy on her, she is just 13, I'm sure she will mature once she gets older. I remember I did and said so many things when I was around that age. If you really appreciate her and like to be her friend, then you will have to bear with her, if not well... you can stop seeing her.

By the way, I know how irritating her behavior can be. Telling her you feel annoyed by that behavior can backfire, so the best advice I can give you is to stop giving her that attention she craves. If she suddenly starts saying things like ''No one likes me'', etc. Act like you didn't hear that or change the subject. I'm sure she will get the indirect.

 

[Anne1]

I would try to bring this up when you two have a moment to yourself and where there are no other people around. This is not the type of topic that people would want to be confronted about with other people right there. I think that just letting her know what you think might help.