Okay, this is going to be... rather odd, but, whatever.
I'm a loner, and have no friends. I went to the same middle school for a couple of years and everyone hated me, and none of the teachers cared or tried to help. Whenever I told a teacher about my problems, it was always my fault no matter what pain I'd gone through. I always sat alone at lunch but was still taunted by the people around me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't walk, I couldn't speak without being burned down and torn apart. As I result, I can't look at people or speak without getting a terrible feeling that I'm going to offend somebody that doesn't exist. I can't listen to the music I want to listen to because I'm afraid that somebody near me who doesn't exist is annoyed or disapproves of it. I can't smile without being self conscious, and whenever I go outside I always have to be under the assumption that I'm being watched.
There were many hobbies that I used to enjoy but had to quit doing due to problems they caused at school. Here are a few of them:
1. Scooter riding - Even though I'm a teenager, I used to love to ride my scooter. I could go so fast but feel like I was in total control of what I was doing. I loved to go down the big hills in the neighborhood and feel the wind in my hair. However, people in my neighborhood who went to my school held this against me and things got so bad that I had no choice but to quit.
2. Jogging - I loved to jog because it gave me a good challenge besides skiing. I used to be able to run almost two miles without stopping and even though I wasn't very good, I enjoyed it on my days where I felt the most energetic. I was getting problems from people about it because I ran slowly so I couldn't do it anymore.
3. Skateboarding - I used to like skateboarding because it was an alternative to snowboarding, which I could only do during the winter. I rode on a regular type of skateboard. I had to quit because people were giving me a hard time about the way I stood on the board, with my feet several inches apart in the center of the board. (I was standing on it like one would stand on a snowboarding.)
I recently purchased a rather expensive longboard that's about twice as long as my skateboard and I can turn much more easily now. I haven't had to quit yet and haven't gotten a hard time because of it, but I don't expect the peace of mind to last very long.
The only time I'm at rest and don't feel self conscious is when I'm on the snow in the mountains, my feet strapped either to a snowboard or a pair of skis. It's the only time I don't have to fear being made fun of and can just be free.
I'm not looking for ways to become more popular, I just... want someone to listen.
I'm a loner, and have no friends. I went to the same middle school for a couple of years and everyone hated me, and none of the teachers cared or tried to help. Whenever I told a teacher about my problems, it was always my fault no matter what pain I'd gone through. I always sat alone at lunch but was still taunted by the people around me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't walk, I couldn't speak without being burned down and torn apart. As I result, I can't look at people or speak without getting a terrible feeling that I'm going to offend somebody that doesn't exist. I can't listen to the music I want to listen to because I'm afraid that somebody near me who doesn't exist is annoyed or disapproves of it. I can't smile without being self conscious, and whenever I go outside I always have to be under the assumption that I'm being watched.
There were many hobbies that I used to enjoy but had to quit doing due to problems they caused at school. Here are a few of them:
1. Scooter riding - Even though I'm a teenager, I used to love to ride my scooter. I could go so fast but feel like I was in total control of what I was doing. I loved to go down the big hills in the neighborhood and feel the wind in my hair. However, people in my neighborhood who went to my school held this against me and things got so bad that I had no choice but to quit.
2. Jogging - I loved to jog because it gave me a good challenge besides skiing. I used to be able to run almost two miles without stopping and even though I wasn't very good, I enjoyed it on my days where I felt the most energetic. I was getting problems from people about it because I ran slowly so I couldn't do it anymore.
3. Skateboarding - I used to like skateboarding because it was an alternative to snowboarding, which I could only do during the winter. I rode on a regular type of skateboard. I had to quit because people were giving me a hard time about the way I stood on the board, with my feet several inches apart in the center of the board. (I was standing on it like one would stand on a snowboarding.)
I recently purchased a rather expensive longboard that's about twice as long as my skateboard and I can turn much more easily now. I haven't had to quit yet and haven't gotten a hard time because of it, but I don't expect the peace of mind to last very long.
The only time I'm at rest and don't feel self conscious is when I'm on the snow in the mountains, my feet strapped either to a snowboard or a pair of skis. It's the only time I don't have to fear being made fun of and can just be free.
I'm not looking for ways to become more popular, I just... want someone to listen.
On the bright side, it has lead me to be kinder to those who face similar challenges. So I'm here to talk to. 
