I cannot be alone.. Have you been here before?

[justinsbbygirl585]

I'm only seventeen and I know pregnancy is strongly looked down upon for teens and I agree but I also agree with taking responsibility for your actions. I know I'm not ready for a kid but there's a certain love between a mother and child that makes you do whatever it takes to keep them healthy and happy. Well, I was 4 and a half months pregnant and healthy.. Until I randomly miscarried. Doctor said the only reasoning they had was that my body wasn't mature enough. I know everything happens for a reason and it was probly for the best. I've heard every positive line out there to try and cheer me up. But even tho the circumstances aren't good, nothing anyone says can cheer me up. Once you hear the heartbeat.. and see the ultrasounds, it's an attachment that nothing can beat. Losing my baby was like losing a part of me and lately I just sit and cry or go to the bathroom and cry. I'm not trying to be selfish I wouldn't have wanted my baby to have a hard childhood or be raised financially unstable. I just long for holding my baby's little fingers in my hand and hold my baby close.. It tore me apart and I don't know what to do to stop thinking about it and seeing it. Has anyone else been through this? There's gotta be more stories out there? I feel soo alone.. I have no one to relate to.

 

[Snowbaby]

Firstly, I am so so sorry for your loss. ((((Huggles))))

Although I have not experienced what you have, I can understand to a point. I was trying to get pregnant for such a long time and I thought it would never happen.

What you are feeling is completely natural so please don't feel it's not or feel bad for your emotions. Did you know whether your baby was a boy or girl? If so did you name him/her? Even if you didn't know the gender, did you name your baby? A nickname perhaps? Did you do anything to symbolise your baby? Like plant a special tree/flower? Do you have anywhere you can go to "connect" with your baby and remember the pregnancy, the special time you had together?

These things may give you peace - time to reflect on things and a special thing or place that is just for you and your baby?

 

[Snowbaby]

Another thing might be a memory box? If you have scan pics, bump pics, anything related to your pregnancy and your baby? You could keep them in a box which you can pull out to look through when you are struggling?