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How do you deal with a meddling mother?

digitalbrew

Member
Joined
May 15, 2012
Messages
127
No, I am not talking about a mother-in-law. I am asking on how to deal with a mother who meddles in your personal relationship.

We understand that they're just concerned but I always have this feeling that whenever my mom asks me something about my work, my relationship or my activities, she's about to meddle in it or complain about something. Do you have that kind of feeling?

My mom is supportive at times but there are instances that I can't help but get annoyed or irritated with her. Most of the time, I could control myself but then there'd be instances that I'm on the verge of exploding.

Other than leaving her (which isn't an option I'm given at the moment because she'd just gotten a minor surgery), what else can I do to avoid getting sparked whenever she meddles?

Share your experiences and tips. ;)
 
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My mother is the type of woman who pries and when you tell her something, in the next minute it has reached every other family member, I can think of. To deal with this, because I got rather tired, I started feeding her small basic responses and then try to bounce the question back towards her.
Example:
Mom: "How are things?"
Me: "Things are going well actually, how are things with you?"
Mom: "Good, I watched the cooking show today."
Me: "Oh that sounds interesting, what did they talk about?"
My mom usually tends to space out whenever I do this to her. She does sometimes get irritated and wants to know if there is something going on and I gently tell her that if there was anything going on, she would be the first to know because I love her so much.
;D
 
My mother is the type of woman who pries and when you tell her something, in the next minute it has reached every other family member, I can think of. To deal with this, because I got rather tired, I started feeding her small basic responses and then try to bounce the question back towards her.
Example:
Mom: "How are things?"
Me: "Things are going well actually, how are things with you?"
Mom: "Good, I watched the cooking show today."
Me: "Oh that sounds interesting, what did they talk about?"
My mom usually tends to space out whenever I do this to her. She does sometimes get irritated and wants to know if there is something going on and I gently tell her that if there was anything going on, she would be the first to know because I love her so much.
;D

Oh yes, I have tried doing that with my mom. Eventually she found out about it and told me to stop playing around with my questions.

I had to deal with the same thing with my mom a couple of years ago. She promised me that I could trust her when it came to telling her that I had a major crush on her friend's son. The next minute it was all over the office. I was probably 8 or 9 back then. It was one of the most embarrassing moments I ever had as a kid.
 
I guess you could always try the alternative, sit her down and explain your feelings hope. Praying that she'll get the memo. Saying that you wouldn't want to have a negative relationship with her, and just wish there was a way for her to understand that you want your privacy too. (As a grown woman.) You could tell her that you respect her concerns and understand that every mother tends to worry about their children but, there comes a time when you need to step back and let kids make their own choices. IDK - I wish my mom would listen to this one but it's always a tennis game with her. xD
 
What I usually do is give my mother the silent treatment, but as we are on good terms again she's back to meddling.
So I just had to let her know that I am an adult and as such I would appreciate if she would give me my space and privacy; this makes her very upset but I just had to be truthful and tell her how I am feeling.
Nothing beats the truth, so just tell her exactly how your feeling, this should help.
 
My mother tends to meddle very badly in all of my affairs, it's been like that since I was younger, but it seems that things are much better now that I'm a grown up woman. She is finally starting to understand that it's my life we are talking about and there has to be limits.

When I was younger tho, she's meddle too much in my life, which I can really understand, because back then I needed some guidance and limits. Sadly my mom has always been a bit nosy :p And had no idea about limits up until now. Things are better now, but whenever she tries to meddle in my life, specially my relationship I just remind her how old I am, lol.
 
My mother likes to complain about everything I do. I don't know how to handle it sometimes. One she is very sweet but the next day she is too controlling and telling me that I don't listen to her advise.
 
When my mother does this I either make up any silly story to get out of the point she wants to talk about or tell her "Does that matter to you?" but with a nice and humorous way and then get into any other thing to talk about like "Do you want some cheesecake!!" :D and it works;)
 
I'd talk to her about it. Communication is important in any relationship. My mother and I would talk on the phone, and when she'd get ready to hang up, she'd tell me I should get to bed soon. I finally said, "Mom, I'm a grown woman. I'll go to bed when I decide it's time." She really didn't even realize she was doing it. We laugh about it now.
 
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You just need to draw a very clear line, take the next time your mom meddles in your life as a big opportunity. Just leave it very clear and leave no space for doubt that you don't appreciate her meddling. Yes, let her know you are a grown up woman that can live her life the way she wants, that when you want her advice you will ask her. Actually unwanted advice is never appreciated.

Depending on your mom's personality you might end up having a fight once you tell her this, but if she is reasonable she will understand. She might be a bit cold at first tho, but she will get over it.
 
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