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Helping a Friend with Chronic Pain

katews

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2013
Messages
41
I have a friend who is dealing with chronic pain from a number of medical issues. She is not home-bound or bed-bound yet, but I have an awful feeling that it will be happening within a year or two. Problem is that I don't really know what to say. I realize that sometimes just "being there" is all that's needed, but it's so hard to want to help and not have a clue what to do or say.

Okay, example... I feel guilty when I tell her about something I did or a trip I took because she'll never be able to do anything remotely like the things I do. I feel guilty when I talk about the future because she won't really have much of a future. Uh... I can see I have a problem with guilt :rolleyes: but... is it better to keep talking about things like that or think of less "hurtful" topics that tend to remind her of her dire situation? Would you edit things you say or just hope nothing causes pain that could have been avoided?
 
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I think she would notice if you started to ''edit'' yourself when you are with her, and that would make her feel more uncomfortable than the topic itself! So if I were you I'd try o act more natural around her, sometimes all you need is someone to be there with you, someone who listens and gives you a hug when needed. Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us!

Just try to be nice with her and don't over analyze everything! Just be natural and try to enjoy your time with her. I'm sure she will appreciate! Also if you don't want to talk about yourself you don't have to... there are many topics you can talk about with your friend; talk about the things she likes or just pick a positive subject randomly.
 
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