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Everybody's Free

Discussion in 'General Chit Chat' started by Princess Pyro, May 28, 2008.

  1. Princess Pyro

    Princess Pyro New Member

    This has got to be one of the greatest songs ever written:

    Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
    it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
    scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
    than my own meandering
    experience…I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
    understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
    But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
    recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
    you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you

    Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
    effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
    bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
    never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
    on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing everyday that scares you


    Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
    people who are reckless with yours.


    Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
    you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with

    Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
    succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


    Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
    life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
    wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
    olds I know still don’t.

    Get plenty of calcium.

    Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

    Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
    you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
    chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
    congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
    choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
    use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
    think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever

    Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

    Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

    Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

    Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for

    Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
    people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
    should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
    lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
    knew when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
    in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


    Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
    philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
    that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
    noble and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
    maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
    might run out.

    Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
    look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
    supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
    fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
    ugly parts and recycling it for more than
    it’s worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen…
  2. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I absolutely love this song!! It rocks big time!!!
  3. Princess Pyro

    Princess Pyro New Member

    It's so full of good advice :yes:
  4. thistle

    thistle New Member

    Can I just say .....

    I really do NOT like this song at all but I LOVE the sentiment behind it (does that make sense?)

    Especially the bit about fashion magazines and looking after your knees lmao
  5. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    Lou, just admit it... you love it!! :p
  6. Subby

    Subby New Member

    John Safran's is much more fun... Quinten Tarver makes me miss sleep at night lol

    [bad advice]
    If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life,
    Try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn't know
    what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty,
    and nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to
    live on cat food. Also understand that friends will come and go,
    this is because of your irritating personality, nobody likes you.
    So if the only thing getting you thought the day is the misconception
    that people like you, end it now. (bang)
    Learn how to smoke Whinny Blues, if you're under aged,
    get an older kid to buy them for you.
    Get to really know your parents, they're good for money,
    milk them, then put them in an old people's home.
    Travel as often as you can, live in New York City once,
    live in Northern California once, never live in Adelaide,
    It's a hole.
    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have
    children, maybe you won't, if you do have children,
    lock them under the stairs.
    Do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance,
    jump in front of a car.
    Do not trust anyone who tries to update Sheakespeare
    for the kids, and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street,
    punch him in the face for me.


    If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember,
    you're probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider
    an eating disorder. Don't worry too much about the future. If
    you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule
    time, and make a bomb threat. If you're a girl, lie about period
    pains to get out of anything you don't want to do. Cheat if you
    think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer
    parents is getting private tuition.
    Shop-lift as often as you can, Shopping Centres factor shop-
    lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like
    they're getting money for free. When you're on work experience,
    steal a cab-charge, and take a Taxi to Perth.
    Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives
    you cancer. Keep your old love letters, if you see an old lover
    in the street, try to run them over in your car.
    Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're
    thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
    Remember you can wear your underwear four times without
    washing them, Forwards, Backwards, inside-out Forwards,
    inside-out Backwards.

    (bang bang bang bang)

    Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres,
    it's a free country, It's public space. Skateboard on War Memorials.
    Smoke in your School uniform.
    Set off car alarms.
    Plant Drugs on a teacher.
    Join a cult.
    Spike Drinks.
    Don't flush public toilets.
    Remember, only you will truly take care of you,
    so carry a concealed weapon.
    Don't wear your 'P' plates.
    Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.
    Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.
    Be open to new love.
    Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.
    Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the doll
    and still do cash in hand work.
    Respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.
    Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you're knee
    capped by a loan shark.
    Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything,
    But most of all, don't aim too high, you're probably only
    suited to an office or factory job.
    [/bad advice]

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