Tavana
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2012
- Messages
- 1
I just recently got involved with a guy lets call him Chad. I've known Chad for a very long time(since high school), and had feelings for him through out it. The thing was he was in a relationship so I never got in the way of that as I know the general rules of not being a complete jerk to the other girl lets call her Selena. Anyways Chad and Selena had an on and off 6 year relationship together and finally Chad ended the relationship.
I had previously, mind you told Selena on the side, that I did like Chad a lot. It was hard for me to be in the same room with them because Chad and I usually had minor flirts and I knew that if I was Selena I'd be pissed so I decided to tell her about it. At the time she told me to go ahead and take him but then later that day she called me back and said, no never mind, I want him still. So whenever Chad and I were near each other I generally tried my best to stay clear. It hurt so much, because I was letting the guy I knew not only that I liked but loved - get away.
Any ways last week Chad came up to me (at school - since we both attend the same college) and told me was thinking of finally breaking it off with Selena. I was a bit shocked - considering their 6 year relationship and asked him are you sure? He told me they had their own problems.
"A rocky relationship and the fact that she wasn't trusting him on their far-distance relationship. Hell, there were some points where he would hang out not only with me but just other girl-who are friends (as we are geeks and play MMOS together) and Selena would pop on our little (vent), cursing him out and really picking him apart for everything. Such as idiot, and worthless. Claiming he should text her and let her know wherever he went or who he planned to spend time with. I wanted to snap out on her but I like I said, didn't get involved."
So yeah, if your thinking I went to him and said, lets go out instead! - you're wrong. He told me that he was starting to get headaches out of the whole thing and as much as I wanted to say, ugh your girlfriend sounds like a pain-in-the ass, I didn't. Instead I would much rather seen him in better spirits so I chalked up some ideas of what he could do to keep the relationship still strong. Told him he should go out on a date, pay for her, (since she always complains that he doesn't pay enough), and then have a nice quiet evening together at her place or something.
The next day, Chad told me they were done. Apparently she flipped out on him for asking to pay for the both of them and it sparked some hidden war about feminist rights. It made me in turn feel terrible about it even though he reassures its not my fault. (Doesn't help though since it was my advice!) Thus I couldn't sleep as I kept having these thoughts that people would stone me to death for going right into a relationship with Chad, whom I like very much so.
People in my family keep warning me about being this rebound girl. I had never heard of the term, until I looked it up and yeah before it made me feel a bit insecure. Especially so after being told by 1,000 people in my family to break it off. Hell I was considering since peer pressure who have me hung but then I stopped. I couldn't stop the dates because I realized I had finally got to be with the guy I loved. The guy that I have so heart-heavily had to evade before because if I stepped into the relationship he had before, I'd be the asshole. So yes, I decided that I would go through with it.
Reasons:
My brother was the rebound guy and his girlfriend/ now FIANCE was in a 10-year relationship with kid and now all 3 of them are happily together. It is because they feel they are truly in love. (His fiance told me look - if you love the guy go for it - don't let him be the one who gets away or your heart will eat you up for the rest of your life. When I broke up with my previous guy it was on a Tuesday and by Sunday I was in relationship with your brother having what I felt was the happiest days of my life. I know it makes me sound like the biggest whore in the world, but I did what I needed to do to be happy and I don't regret it once after all I am at peace with the man I have finally found love with.)
So rebound relationships can't be all that bad, right?
Thus reeling myself back into the situation with Chad. We have been dating for awhile now but haven't announced anything to friends wise as I'm worried that I'll be stoned to death. With words such as the slut/the bitch, hell a friend I told Friday called me a home wreaking slut. (Selena is part of my circle of friends, me and her aren't close but my friends are very close to her.)
Last night - (we haven't had sex yet) we went out for breakfast/ hung out at a fair for lunch and then spent the night together it was wonderful. I was at bliss with the world around me that i never felt. (Usually I'd wake up in the mornings before and not give a damn about anything - I felt miserable - yet now with Chad i actually get up, do the things I should be doing, eat, dress up, and actually skip to my car in my bubbling joy.) I even started crying in happiness during our make-out session last night as a wave of emotions toppled over me in pure bliss. I felt like I had really touched heaven and now was able to spend a day with it while being held in it's warming safe arms. hell I finally slept in peace - no nightmares or anything!
I don't really know what came over me - I had stood on the side for so long, and it had killed me so many times to not be able to say anything to him. Yet now he was there, finally with me and it wasn't a dream. I was a spilling over in a wave of happiness and also laughing everything in seconds. This radiating feeling of joy - I swear it will never escape my grasp again.
So yes, I love Chad, very very much so and hopefully he loves me too.
Though on a side note I have come to realize that I don't care if I'm the rebound girl in the end of this. (Even if Chad tells me that I am not.) But somehow, if I do end up being single again. At least I'll have the bliss I felt within me and know now what I should be feeling in life. What I should be doing in life, and how worth it is to live in life because I was finally able to be with him. Be with the man who I love the most.
So now I ask for your opinions? I ask because I feel advice from others would have a larger impact on me since I have been fearing others inputs for the longest time. So if you can spare a word, please let me know.
I had previously, mind you told Selena on the side, that I did like Chad a lot. It was hard for me to be in the same room with them because Chad and I usually had minor flirts and I knew that if I was Selena I'd be pissed so I decided to tell her about it. At the time she told me to go ahead and take him but then later that day she called me back and said, no never mind, I want him still. So whenever Chad and I were near each other I generally tried my best to stay clear. It hurt so much, because I was letting the guy I knew not only that I liked but loved - get away.
Any ways last week Chad came up to me (at school - since we both attend the same college) and told me was thinking of finally breaking it off with Selena. I was a bit shocked - considering their 6 year relationship and asked him are you sure? He told me they had their own problems.
"A rocky relationship and the fact that she wasn't trusting him on their far-distance relationship. Hell, there were some points where he would hang out not only with me but just other girl-who are friends (as we are geeks and play MMOS together) and Selena would pop on our little (vent), cursing him out and really picking him apart for everything. Such as idiot, and worthless. Claiming he should text her and let her know wherever he went or who he planned to spend time with. I wanted to snap out on her but I like I said, didn't get involved."
So yeah, if your thinking I went to him and said, lets go out instead! - you're wrong. He told me that he was starting to get headaches out of the whole thing and as much as I wanted to say, ugh your girlfriend sounds like a pain-in-the ass, I didn't. Instead I would much rather seen him in better spirits so I chalked up some ideas of what he could do to keep the relationship still strong. Told him he should go out on a date, pay for her, (since she always complains that he doesn't pay enough), and then have a nice quiet evening together at her place or something.
The next day, Chad told me they were done. Apparently she flipped out on him for asking to pay for the both of them and it sparked some hidden war about feminist rights. It made me in turn feel terrible about it even though he reassures its not my fault. (Doesn't help though since it was my advice!) Thus I couldn't sleep as I kept having these thoughts that people would stone me to death for going right into a relationship with Chad, whom I like very much so.
People in my family keep warning me about being this rebound girl. I had never heard of the term, until I looked it up and yeah before it made me feel a bit insecure. Especially so after being told by 1,000 people in my family to break it off. Hell I was considering since peer pressure who have me hung but then I stopped. I couldn't stop the dates because I realized I had finally got to be with the guy I loved. The guy that I have so heart-heavily had to evade before because if I stepped into the relationship he had before, I'd be the asshole. So yes, I decided that I would go through with it.
Reasons:
My brother was the rebound guy and his girlfriend/ now FIANCE was in a 10-year relationship with kid and now all 3 of them are happily together. It is because they feel they are truly in love. (His fiance told me look - if you love the guy go for it - don't let him be the one who gets away or your heart will eat you up for the rest of your life. When I broke up with my previous guy it was on a Tuesday and by Sunday I was in relationship with your brother having what I felt was the happiest days of my life. I know it makes me sound like the biggest whore in the world, but I did what I needed to do to be happy and I don't regret it once after all I am at peace with the man I have finally found love with.)
So rebound relationships can't be all that bad, right?
Thus reeling myself back into the situation with Chad. We have been dating for awhile now but haven't announced anything to friends wise as I'm worried that I'll be stoned to death. With words such as the slut/the bitch, hell a friend I told Friday called me a home wreaking slut. (Selena is part of my circle of friends, me and her aren't close but my friends are very close to her.)
Last night - (we haven't had sex yet) we went out for breakfast/ hung out at a fair for lunch and then spent the night together it was wonderful. I was at bliss with the world around me that i never felt. (Usually I'd wake up in the mornings before and not give a damn about anything - I felt miserable - yet now with Chad i actually get up, do the things I should be doing, eat, dress up, and actually skip to my car in my bubbling joy.) I even started crying in happiness during our make-out session last night as a wave of emotions toppled over me in pure bliss. I felt like I had really touched heaven and now was able to spend a day with it while being held in it's warming safe arms. hell I finally slept in peace - no nightmares or anything!
I don't really know what came over me - I had stood on the side for so long, and it had killed me so many times to not be able to say anything to him. Yet now he was there, finally with me and it wasn't a dream. I was a spilling over in a wave of happiness and also laughing everything in seconds. This radiating feeling of joy - I swear it will never escape my grasp again.
So yes, I love Chad, very very much so and hopefully he loves me too.
Though on a side note I have come to realize that I don't care if I'm the rebound girl in the end of this. (Even if Chad tells me that I am not.) But somehow, if I do end up being single again. At least I'll have the bliss I felt within me and know now what I should be feeling in life. What I should be doing in life, and how worth it is to live in life because I was finally able to be with him. Be with the man who I love the most.
So now I ask for your opinions? I ask because I feel advice from others would have a larger impact on me since I have been fearing others inputs for the longest time. So if you can spare a word, please let me know.