Coldsore and Accusation

[bethanyparkin]

I've been getting cold sores from a really young age - not passed through sexual intercourse and it's the type one virus.
I had a break out the other day because I was really run down and barely slept, then my boyfriend tells me he felt a tingling on his lip then tells me if it's the type two virus (associated with sexual transmission/ genital virus) then it's over.
It's definitely type one, as my aunty gave it to me when I was younger from kissing.
My boyfriend really broke my heart accusing me of being like that. He doesn't trust me as he asked my friend who made a list of people of who I've slept with (But recently talking to her, she said she made it up because her boyfriend was there and she had slept with a few people and wanted to make it seem normal if I had too) - In reality I've slept with two. My boyfriend now thinks I've slept around, but I haven't my friend used that as a cover, and when her boyfriend wasn't looking she replied again with the two people I've slept with. (I can't tell him this as he is friends with my friends - now ex, boyfriend)
I've no idea what to do. I hate that I've been accused of being promiscuous because of a virus - worst of all, my aunty who'd more than likely given me the virus, passed a few years ago and he had the cheek to call her a 'slag' for having the virus,
I feel lost and have no idea what to do. Help

 

[lexibethr]

Hugs to you for going through this I know that it must make you feel depressed and insecure. Dont allow your boyfriend to come to his own conclusion and decide whether he should end things or not. You should be the one ending this relationship regardless of how well you can convince him that the cold sores are not sexually transmitted. A boyfriend who really cares for you would take your word for it and do his best to comfort you when your not feeling well. He is not only calling you a liar but he is also talking about personal information with your friend and putting down a loved one who is deceased. Cold sores just happen alot of people deal with them and it has nothing to do with how sexually active you are. I would drop this guy and find a more caring and trusting guy to spend your time with. I would also question your friendship with the girl who lied about you just to make herself look better.

 

[M.H.West]

I have had several friends that have had cold sores and it is a common thing. Some people just have them in their family. One of my best friends has been getting since childhood too and had the same problem as you. The problem is not the cold sore but the boyfriend. If he is already doubting you then he may not be the person you want to get involved with. Most of a relationship revolves around honesty and trust. If he is already lacking that in you without any provocation then maybe it's time to kick him to the curb and find a boy more suitable to your needs. I know it is always easier said then done but a relationship with doubt issues isn't really an easy road either.

 

[PamBeacher]

Sometimes we are involved with a person we shouldn't. I think he is doing you a favor, showing you his true colors now. He doesn't deserve to be with you. Even if you DID sleep with other guys in the past, the past is the past and none of his business. Your friend is no friend. She had no right to do that to you. She should have told him to get that type information from you only.

 

[phoenyxstarr1982]

I agree with the others, it isn't the cold sore but the boyfriend that is the problem. I don't know what to say about whether you should stay with him or not but if it was me, I think I would tell him off & then dump him. As for your friend, I don't know how much of a friend she is if she would spread such lies about you. Maybe she's more of a frenemy than friend. I definitely would not be spending much time with her, since she seems like she's trying to cause problems for you & your boyfriend.

 

[chocobun]

I agree that he is being a little inconsiderate of your feelings. I understand his paranoia and panic, but if you've been with him for a while and you love each other, how come there's trust missing? He should trust you and put a little faith into you instead of jumping to conclusions out of fear and anxiety. You should talk to him and ask him how much he trusts you. It sounds like the relationship could use a little work.