Bullying And Your Child

[Snowbaby]

Bullys and those bullied are both victims


A bully may be rather aggressive:

• * often teasing or hitting other children
  * demonstrating a lot of angry behaviour or displays of temper
  * defying parents or teachers

A victim may be shy, timid, different in some way, or just not fit in:

• * finding it hard to join in with friends
  * often taken advantage of or teased by other children
  * may show some helplessness or be easily upset

You think your child may be a bully

• * Teach him about respecting other people's rights - don't just assume your child will know this. Constantly stress how others feel, and how important it is not to do things that make other people feel bad. Try to teach him to treat others as he would like to be treated.
  * Have firm rules that don't accept mean or nasty behaviour towards others.
  * Teach your child to negotiate. Use role play to teach him how to ask for things he wants rather than forcing his will on others.
  * Keep a record of bullying incidents - this will help to identify whether anything in particular is causing your child stress and setting him off.
  * Be a good example. Don't use bullying tactics at home to make your child do what you want.
  * Praise - make sure you are positive about all your child's good, co-operative behaviour.

You think your child may be a victim of bullying

• * Explain that bullies are children who may be upset or sad - perhaps because of unhappy events at home.
  * Tell your child it's not his fault. Explain that no one deserves mean treatment.
  * Use role play to teach how to handle incidents - examples include not showing you're bothered or upset by teasing, saying firmly you don't like it and walking away. Explain there's no shame in just keeping out of the bully's way.
  * Listen and talk - take the time to listen to your child's worries about the events in his day. Be alert and look out for when things seem to get worse - you may need to intervene.
  * Build self-esteem. Find activities your child can be good at.
  * Praise achievements - always praise your child, especially for acts of courage.
  * Don't overprotect your child - it may only make him feel more vulnerable and helpless.
  * Is your child dominated at home by siblings, for example? If so, maybe he's used to being treated like a doormat

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