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Heartbreak

Dreek Lass

Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
123
I think that almost everybody that I know has had some sort of negative experience with love, or what they have thought to be love. Then I know a couple of people that have had their hearts well and truly broken. I have not had my heart broken yet, and suspect that I never will. But I have, however, has a few bullets graze the surface of my heart a few times.

I don't fall in love easily, but when I do I fall very hard. I don't trust other people enough to let that happen, which is perhaps why I have not had my heart broken yet.

Have you ever had your heart broken? If so, have you let it change the way you see love?
 
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Unfortunately, I had my heart broken. My very first boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me and was playing with my feelings.
After I had discovered it, he kept coming back to me, saying that I'm the most important to him. Behind my back, he was still seeing other girls. I was in love with him, at least at that time it felt like it, so I thought that it's the end of the word and I didn't want to live. But I survived:) Did it change me? I think that it did. Even though I'm in a very happy relationship now, I still have some trust issues. And sometimes I'm feeling insecure. I hope that it will get easier though, I simply have to wait.
 
Unfortunately, I had my heart broken. My very first boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me and was playing with my feelings.
After I had discovered it, he kept coming back to me, saying that I'm the most important to him. Behind my back, he was still seeing other girls. I was in love with him, at least at that time it felt like it, so I thought that it's the end of the word and I didn't want to live. But I survived:) Did it change me? I think that it did. Even though I'm in a very happy relationship now, I still have some trust issues. And sometimes I'm feeling insecure. I hope that it will get easier though, I simply have to wait.

I would say that you cannot take past wounds into new relationships because the man in completely different to the last, unless you keep attracting the same type of man. But that is always easier said than done isn't it lol?? Once you have been hurt it is easy to retreat into yourself and just not want to put yourself out there in such a vulnerable way again. I have felt that way for a while now, and I have never even really been in love. I am just a sensitive person in general. My relationships with other humans is not the best. I don't have any faith in them, I prefer to be on my own tan to be around other people. If I go out I cannot wait to get back home so that I can be myself and do what I want, instead of having to be this false version of myself that society expects me to be.
 
I would say that you cannot take past wounds into new relationships because the man in completely different to the last, unless you keep attracting the same type of man. But that is always easier said than done isn't it lol?? Once you have been hurt it is easy to retreat into yourself and just not want to put yourself out there in such a vulnerable way again. I have felt that way for a while now, and I have never even really been in love. I am just a sensitive person in general. My relationships with other humans is not the best. I don't have any faith in them, I prefer to be on my own tan to be around other people. If I go out I cannot wait to get back home so that I can be myself and do what I want, instead of having to be this false version of myself that society expects me to be.

I think that when you are with the right person, it's easier not to be so scared. You can't stop yourself from falling in love, it will happen soon or later, no matter what you do. And I believe that it's worth the risk. I've never regretted falling in love, even when it caused so much pain. After all, I learned so much from it and it made me the person I'm now.
I know that my boyfriend deserves my trust but sometimes, when I'm gloomy or sad, I start thinking 'what if?' 'what if I get hurt again'? For now, I can't help it. Fortunately, it happens less and less often:)
 
I have had my heart break before many times. Before dating my now boyfriend, I was in and out of dates that were only using me for sex. (Though I never slept with any one of them - thank god for that.)

My first boyfriend ever of 4 years though - he constantly brought up over and over again how his friends were getting laid and he still got nothing from our relationship. It was unhealthy - extremely very well so, because it took on a very sour note. He began saying how during the last 4 years I never made him happy. All I did was ruin his life by straining his relationship with his friends. Making him look bad, and apparently I didn't care for his feelings enough. It got so dreadfully bad that I began having suicidal thoughts because he made me feel worthless. He degraded me whenever I spoke to him and told me he didn't want to hear any of my crap/ that he wasn't my counselor/ and didn't want to console me unless I was willing to make his day be better by finally having sex.

There was a point where he offered that we go on vacation as a peace-offering because he was being too aggressive. At first I was ecstatic for this. However I learned I was naive because I heard him speaking to a friend that this was the best way to finally get me to give him sex. He was only doing it for sex. Not for me, not to make things better, but to get some rep with his friends. His obviously stupid ones that have no respect for women. Anyways I BROKE things off, the day before the trip leaving him mouth open and confused.

He returned again to my house asking to repent for his mistakes. I once again was naive, fell into the trap. Because he was my first, I felt I was going to be alone forever. I said okay. So he came over my house again. However on his way in he bumped into my brother and dropped condoms from his pants. My older brother wouldn't have it - so tired of this guy and punched him. lol

Anyways from that moment on - I was really no more gullible gal. On dates I was always asked for sex and I gave them nothing but a reality check. Got called a prude, so many times, but when I finally met the right guy - I learned that some men are just selfish jerks. The really good ones are hard to find, they are at the top of the tree (if you ever heard that metaphor) you just have to wait for the right one. It will take a lot of trial and error but its worth it. xD
 
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Yep, got my heart broken several times already and that's why I remain (until now) closed... as a way to protect myself. I got so hurt in the past I still have issues trying to trust people, specially men. For some reason I just can't get myself to trust people in general either, I definitely don't see world the same way I did in the past, but that's not only due heartbreak, but many other things.

I was in a relationship for nearly 5 years with a guy who lied to me all the time, he lied and cheated on me. I'm not upset about him wanting to find happiness, what upsets me is the fact he was so selfish... he made me waste my time! He kept me around like I was some kind of back up in case the other woman didn't turn out to be what he was looking for... Hard to trust after that.
 
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